What to do to avoid psychopathic Nazi torture.
On Friday evening we drove to my parent's place. I explained to my parents what I was considering, and they immediately discouraged me because there were no good jobs available in the Scranton area. I knew that would be used as an argument for my staying at RAM, and I knew my parents would never understand the price I was paying for trying to hold on to my job at RAM. Perhaps the strongest argument for staying at RAM was that I couldn't be sure anything would be different for me in Scranton. I was meeting strong resistance to my plan to leave RAM.

The following evening my sister, Anita and I went to a fireworks display at a local resort. As we drove, my sister started telling me about an experience she had told me about previously. When she described the experience she used almost exactly the same words she had used before. I immediately became suspicious and started to feel anxious. The "instant replay" technique had been used so often at Gamma Supplies that I could no longer tell if the story my sister was repeating was just a coincidence or whether it was planned. Was it a circle or an oblong? I knew my wife had been used against me, why wouldn't the fascist rulers use my sister? We continued on our way but my anxiety level was rising and didn't enjoy the fireworks display that night.

The next morning I was up early and I went to the kitchen and talked to my mother. She was concerned and wanted to be helpful.

"Did you ever think of going to the police?" she asked.

"It wouldn't do any good." I replied. "These people are above the law."

"Well, you know I had an uncle once who just disappeared." she continued. "To this day no one knows where he is."

"Thanks for the help mom," was all I could reply. In hindsight it is interesting that she was suggesting that I abandon Anita. She seemed to know that I couldn't trust Anita.

"Do you think Anita could stay here if I go back? I really don't know what is going to happen and I worry about her." I continued.

I was concerned about my own rage, and I also remembered that Anita had been with me when the car tampering incident had occurred. My mother said it would be fine if Anita stayed behind in Scranton.

Anita got up late as she usually did. We then went for a walk through the woods with Nuisance, our dog as we frequently did when we wanted to talk. I explained that I had no idea what was going to happen to me and maybe it would be best that she forget about her job and stay at my parents house. Anita just broke down and started crying. Finally after a lengthy discussion, Anita decided to back home with me no matter what happened. That Sunday evening, we headed home and I was headed back to RAM.

Fate hands me proof of conspiracy - but the Nazis wouldn't care.
I returned to work on Monday to the same environment. I was beginning to believe my situation was hopeless and that no one would ever believe what had happened and what was still happening. There was no way I could ever stop the senseless destruction in my life, but the one sense of victory that I could have was the ability to relate what had been done in such a convincing manner that no one would doubt me. But I was beginning to believe that was a lost cause too. Who would ever believe that what was happening to me at RAM was related to a trial rigging at Gamma Supplies and how would I ever remember all the evidence after several years? And it really did seem insane that my coworkers were conspiring and acting out scenarios just to make look and act insane. And of course, my truly insane captors really believed they could drive me insane. The time, effort and cost was so great, it did not seem like I could succeed. If I had these doubts, who would ever believe me?

Just when I was beginning to loose the battle, fate gave me some much needed proof. One day as I was exiting the laboratory, I stepped into the hallway and heard two people talking in an office diagonally across from where I was standing. I could not see who was talking and they could not see me as I paused to hear;
You know, the guys are getting a little tired of this thing with Russ, and all the things we have to do to him. I was too anxious to see who was talking to listen more. I walked in front of the office doorway in time to see a co-worker and my former manager Gene Leski. The co-worker stopped talking immediately, and they both just stared at me. I hesitated and then went on my way. I was elated. My co-workers were getting tired of having to constantly harassing me and at least on of them was complaining to management. For a brief moment, I had hope. Indirectly, I had someone else trying to stop the torture of me. Not only that but I had proof that there was a conspiracy agains me. It was not my imagination.

Several minutes later I returned to the office. Since Gene was gone, I approached the co-worker and asked him an innocuous question. He turned bright red and answered in a very nervous manner. He knew I had overheard his remark. I left his office feeling relieved because no one could now doubt my claim that I was being harassed. On the other hand, it meant that "they" would only be happy if they did drive me insane. The only course they and their twisted minds could pursue was to totally destroy me.

Another therapist (The Rapist) living in La, La Land
My mental state was deterioring rapidly again as a result of the constant mental torture I was being subjected to at work. I desperately needed someone I could talk to without getting the answer that I was just imagining everything and that I was mentally ill. I decided to go talk to the minister of the church that Anita and I attended. I foolishly told Anita of my plan.

By now a strange thing had happened in my relationship with Anita. I trusted her again which was probably out of necessity. I began to rationalize all the things that had happened that had involved her. More importantly, she became my confidant again, and I told her things that I shouldn't have because my Nazi torturers could use the information against me. But I was so anxious that I freely talked to her. Still, I wanted someone else I could use as a sounding board.

My conversation with my minister was normal and there were no surprises. He said he could not help me and suggested I seek professional councilling. Through him, I obtained the name and address of a psychiatrist to visit. I went home and then told Anita all that had transpired which meant that "they" would know exactly what I was doing and who I was going to go see.

I started seeing Dr. Iron in July, 1979. Dr. Iron was an elderly gentleman who lived alone in a large old house in the country outside of Georgeville, NY. He had practiced psychiatry in New York City for several years and was now in the process of transferring his practice to his suburban home. In contrast to the doctors I had previously talked to, I found Dr. Steel to be very well rounded in his experiences, and I found him to be mentally alert. It became readily apparent that he was used to winning arguments with his patients. Although I had great respect for him as a person, I found him to be of little help in discussing my problems. The best indication that he would be no help to me came when after I gave him a brief synopsis of my situation he proclaimed,Now Russ, big business doesn't do things like that!" I knew at that point that Dr. Iron could never really help me or that he wouldn't really try to help me. He did prescribe Haldol, an antipsychotic agent to help me cope with my anxiety. Other than that, he was useless.

What is really interesting about Dr. Iron is that he is Jewish and had fled the original Nazi empire and changed his name. I am a little surprised that he didn't tell me to flee this Nazi empire as subsequent psychiatrists would do.

How Evil works through the Nazi Empire.
After I started seeing Dr. Iron, the harassing events at work began to lessen and my thoughts to leave RAM abated. However, my thoughts never deviated from preparing for the inev inevitable loss of my job or perhaps my life. My foremost thought was to protect Anita. I believed it was important that she be prepared to go out on her own, and therefore she needed a better occupation than that of a bank teller/accountant. Since Anita had always been interested in being a nurse, we made plans for her to start attending full time a local community college. Since the program was a two year study,she could be working in a good profession in a reasonable amount of time. I too decided to take a course in accounting in an attempt to prepare for another career when my career as a chemist was terminated. All our efforts were designed to counteract all of the destructive actions which were being carried out against me.

In late August, I received a phone call from a worker in the trafficking department at RAM. He informed me that I had to fill out some forms to collect my moving expenses incurred a year earlier. When I previously tried to get my money, I encountered so many roadblocks that I had just given up all hope of ever getting the money. I knew it was just another way "they" could frustrate me. Now a year later, the trafficking department couldn't carry the account any longer on the books and they had to pay me. In other words, "they" had held the money as long as the system would allow and now I would be paid. The maximum hardship and frustration had been attained. I told the man to send me the forms and a couple of days later they arrived in the mail.

I told Anita that we would be getting several hundred dollars back for the damage done to our furniture. Both of us were happy and I remarked, "This is the first positive thing that has happened to us in over a year. I can't believe it. We will have some extra money for a change."

My positive feelings did not last long. Two days later I kissed my wife goodbye in the garage as she left for work. I went back into the house and started up the stairs when I heard a crash. I rushed back down the stairs and into the garage in time to see Anita standing there looking at the door. I immediately saw the car door was crumbled and as calmly as I could, asked, "What happened?!"

I forgot to close the car door as I was backing out of the garage and I hit the garage support." she said.

I looked at the door and saw the damage was extensive.

"Well, if we're lucky, all that will have to be done is the door will have to be replaced."

I drove Anita to work. As we drove, I talked about what had to be done.

"I'll take a vacation day from work today and take the car in to get an estimate, and then I will inform the insurance company." I said. I was assuming the car was still driveable.

Anita sat there and cried. Since we had a large deductible insurance on the car, the money we were going to receive from RAM was gone. There would be no extra money.

It is interesting to note that once the evil Nazis took over my life, a very negative force, an evil force entered my life. I had always been a fortunate, even a lucky person where things in my life always went smoothly and positively up until the Nazis entered. At that point, it seemed like some evil force, a dark cloud took over my life. It was that evil negativity that I could sense or feel at Gamma Supplies. And my life has never been the same since. The Bible says that this empire receives its "throne, power and authority from the Great Dragon, Satan", and I have found nothing to refute that.

Creation of Inner Conflict - Another Nazi technique.
To add to our finacial crunch, Anita quit her job in September to go to college. That meant we would be living on one income and would have her tuition and other college expenses over the next two years. Anita was enthusiastic about going to college to become a nurse, and it helped relieve some of her anxiety over what she would do if something did happen to me. For the short term we were giving up her income and taking on an added expense in order to insure her and hopefully our future.

In early September, I was informed that I could attend a photopolymer conference to be held in nearby Shirleyville, NY. The conference was sponsored by the Society of Professional Engineers, but in reality it was a RAM sponsored conference and was headed by Klaus Closeau and my new manager, Pat Clover. I was a little surprised that I could go and I immediately became suspicious. Not only was I told I could attend the conference, but Pat encouraged me to bring my tennis things along and invited me to play some tennis. I was really surprised at the social invitation.

That evening I informed Anita that I would be going to the conference and immediately she started pestering me to take her along. I had never taken Anita on a business trip and her sudden insistence that she accompany me caught me off guard. My initial answer was "no"!

I was becoming more and more suspicious about Anita's actions. It seemed that more and more the things I said to her were being used to irritate me at work. It was what I called "cross-over" events. At other times, Anita would console me and would acknowledge by her words and actions that I was being terrorized. It was almost as if she had a split personality. One evening we were having dinner at a local Steak House and I was talking about the one topic I always talked about.

"I just can't believe how insane "they" are to terrorize someone for such a long period of time, and they won't let me get any real help. I mean they used Dr. Cohen to help terrorize me and set me up for that suicide attempt. Can you believe they actually used him to help them?" I asked.

"Yes, I can believe it." Anita solemnly replied.

By now Anita's candid comments on the subject no longer surprised me. We were both in this together, and although I was bearing the blunt of the attack, Anita was fighting for her survival too. However, the minute I would start to trust Anita just a little too much, something would happen to destroy it and make me angery at her. In fact, it seemed as though "they" were now trying to make my wife the object of my hate and anger. What greater conflict could a man have than to hate the person he dearly loved? That hatred was being fostered by involving my wife in more and more incidences. I wasn't knowldgeable about menticide at the time, but subsequent reading on the subject revealed that the generation of inner conflict is another key element in mental torture. The greater the conflict, the more pain and torment the victim experiences. Aren't the american Nazis real sweethearts???!!!

When I relive these events as I post them, it makes me aware all over again what really sick bastards run this country. God's wrath on this nation can never be too great!!!

As always, one sided trust.
As the harassment increased at work again, I lost my confidence in the ability of Dr. Iron to help me. As a result I decided to spot seeing him without telling anyone of the change. To keep Anita from finding out, I would leave the house as if I were going to keep an appointment, and then I would go to my office for about an hour or so and do my accounting for my accounting course I was taking. Then I would return home. I had noted the times I left and arrived home on one of my last visits to Dr. Iron. I was careful to keep the same schedule so Anita would not become suspicious. I did this for several weeks until one day Anita said she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she began, "You're not seeing Dr. Iron, are you?"

"Of course I am! Where do you think I go every Tuesday evening?" I replied.

"Russell, I know you are not seeing Dr. Iron."

Anita said it with such confidence that I began to believe that she really knew.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"I just know." Then she paused, thought for a second and continued. "I can tell by the time you leave and come back that you aren't seeing him."

I knew that couldn't be the case because of the great care I had taken to keep the times exact. Now I was becoming angry. Anita was so sure and so insistent that I was not seeing Dr. Iron that I was convinced she had been told the information to provoke and incident. I decided to admit the truth to stop the altercation.

"OK, I haven't been seeing Dr. Iron, but I would still like to know how you knew."

Anita didn't answer me, but rather she continued on almost as if she had rehearsed it.

"Russell, I'm really upset. I thought our marriage was based on trust and honesty. We are not suppose to lie to one another."

I was furious. My own wife had betrayed, terrorized and help set me up to be killed and now "they" were having her chastise me for lying to her. I knew the only was she could have known that I was not seeing Dr. Iron was by someone telling her, but I could never prove it. The incident had served its purpose. It had provoked the reaction of anger and rage, and it kept my emotions flowing at a high level.

The incident also showed how important it was for the power Nazi elite to document a history of mental illness in order to have a written record that they could always roll out if I ever did get someone to listen to me. The mental illness record was critical to their ultimate plan of getting rid of me. After all, mental illness can rationalize just about anything away.

How the Fascist empire hides the truth.
I was shocked that Anita would suggest that I run away, because she knew it would do no good. I had no underground connections, no real money and "they" watched everything I did. Later I will relate indisputable evidence to the extreme extent "they" monitored everything I did. But I wondered if "they" had told her to encourage me to run away, or if in the confusion of the situation Anita truly believed that running away and hiding would solve my problem. I tended to believe the former because I was aware how "they" would have people urge me to take self-destructive actions, and then the people who had suggested the action would tell me how foolish and sick I was. Destructive actions were usually encouraged throught the mind control technique of suggestion. And because of the terrible abuse I was enduring, I was readily susceptible to suggestion. The fact that I could not trust any suggestion or advice made it difficult to carry on.

It is important to note that my captors had a year at Gamma Supplies to learn everything about me before I realized I was their prisoner/slave. That fact and the immense power and resources my captors had made fleeing a stupid idea. And had I fled to some other neutral nation such as Canada or Mexico, "they" would have followed me. Many years later I had knowledgeable people tell me that "they" would follow me if I fled.

The day I was to leave for the Elville Photopolymer Conference, Anita was still begging me to take her along. Finally I relented and said she could drive up and attend the main banquet which was held on the next to last evening. Then Anita made a strange offer.

"Let me pack your suitcase," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked increduously. "I always pack my own suitcase. I've done it a hundred times before, and I intend to do it this time. Why do you want to pack my suitcase?"

I was just trying to be nice." she replied.

Later as I was finishing my suitcase, Anita came into the bedroom.

"Are you going to take your tennis stuff?" She asked.

"No I'm not. You know Pat nor anyone else is going to play tennis with me so why should I take it?"

Anita kept after me. "Oh why don't you take it? I'll pack your tennis bag for you."

I was irritated at her insistence, but I finally agreed to let her pack my tennis bag. "Go ahead and pack it while I get some papers that I need from the living room." I told her.

While I was in the other room going through scientific papers, Anita called out, "Did you pack your toothbrush and shaving cream?"

I was really annoyed at Anita's badgering on the subject of packing and shouted back, "I packed everything I need!"

I knew I had all my toiletries packed and was becoming very suspicious of Anita's behavior. I went back into the bedroom, picked up my suitcase and tennis bag and headed out the door. As I did, I noticed my new tennis sneakers on the closet floor.

"I may as well take these new tennis shoes and break them in."

With that I threw them in the tennis bag and started to leave for Elville. Then I turned to Anita.

"Do you want to take a walk out back with Nuisance before I go?"

"OK" Anita replied.

As we walked around the woods in back of the house, I expressed my concern about what was going to happen at the conference.

"It seems like they are trying to build the anxiety up to a climax. Maybe they are trying to get me to try to commit suicide again."

Anita walked with me hand-in-hand and listened intently. Then I started to get the urge to fight back.

"Maybe I should go to the FBI. After all, even you said you believed they used Dr. Cohen to set me up the first time."

Anita reacted violently to that comment. She pulled away from me and she tried to jerk he hand from mine. Then, in a state of panic she started screaming, "I never said that! I never said that!"

I couldn't believe the fear she had. The idea of publicly supporting me was terrifying to her. For the first time I realized how scared Anita was.

"Christ," I said. "You're so scared that if they gave you a gun and told you to shoot me, you would do it! I can't believe how sick this whole thing is."

I was totally disgusted and at the same time, Anita's violent reaction to what I had said made me even more apprehensive about what was going to happen at the conference. For a minute I thought about not going, but then I would have to explain everything at work and I had no "rational" explanation for not attending the conference. I decided to go to the conference and see what was planned.

NOTE: At this point I was seriously beginning to believe that the US Nazi government in conjunction with big business was the source of all my problems. But at that point in my life I really was not politically aware, and I did not understand the true nature of a FASCIST STATE, which america is. That is a state where government and industry work hand-in-hand against the working class. Remember, this was 1980 and most americans were unaware of this fascist system. Today, although most americans refuse to call it FASCISM, people are disgusted by the government/industry cabals.

The Conservative Nazi View of Marriage.
As the photopoymer conference grew near, the level of harassment at work was being escalated rapidly. In addition to the harassment, a sudden change in Osama's behavior took place. The week before the conference, Osama disappeared from sight. He was never in the office in the morning or late afternoon as he usually was, and I could not finnd him in the usual places such as the library or the laboratory. There were indications from items on his desk that he was at work, but for one solid week, I did not see Osama. This sudden change in behavior served to make me think of all sorts of possible reasons for the sudden change, but one thing did seem certain; his sudden disappearance was orchestrated to coincide with the increased level of harassment from other sources at work. When I asked co-workers about Osama's presence, they all expressed ignorance. It was one of those sudden changes that caused me great anxiety (see earlier posts about the effects of changes in a prisoners environment).

Another thing that bothered me was my manager Pat's almost daily insistence that I bring my tennis stuff to the conference. The contradiction between the increased level of harassment at work and Pat's social invitation was causing me great concern. I knew that "they" would not let me play tennis in that social environment, but I couldn't understand the reason for the constant insistence that I bring my tennis gear.

I tried to continue to carry out the routine things in my life, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do with the constant harassment with which I had to live. One day Anita and I were going grocery shopping and I was talking non-stop about the events at work. Finally we pulled into the parking lot and I turned off the car.

Anita sat there for a moment silent and then said, "Do you remember what your mother talked to you about? You know, if you just decided to disappear I would understand. You don't have to leave a note or anything."

Anita started to cry, "If you didn't show up at home someday, I would know what you did." she continued. The tears were flowing down her face as she finished.

"I know", was all I could reply.

The terrorism unfolds at the conference.
When I arrived at the resort where the conference was being held, I went to the registration desk to sign-up for the conference and to get my identification badge. I was in an anxious state and expected to be told I was not registered, but the process went smoothly. Then I asked the man at the registration desk to direct me to the meeting rooms were the seminars would be held. He gave me directions and I wandered off to find the meeting rooms. I carefully followed his directions and ended up in a dead-end hallway with no conference rooms. My anxiety level immediately jumped. Had he deliberately given me wrong directions?

I abandoned my search for the meeting rooms and headed directly to my room. When I got there, I began to unpack when I was hit with a second shock. I was missing my toothbrush and shaving cream! Those were the exact two items Anita had asked me about just before I left the house. It was way too much of a coincident, and it immediately had a terrorizing effect on me. Now I knew why Anita had insisted on packing my bags.

Immediately I knew why she had packed my tennis bag! I frantically opened my tennis bag and began searching for a pair of tennis sneakers other than the new ones I had thrown in the bag at the last minute. There was no other pair of sneakers. If I had not thrown the new pair of sneakers in the bag at the last minute, I would have been unequiped to play tennis. Pat would probably have asked me to play tennis and I would have been unable to accomodate him because of lack of sneakers. So simple. Arrange a social tennis match and then make it nearly impossible for me to fulfill my part. And of course, by using my wife to complete the scenario only served to make me look paranoid. No wonder Anita had incouraged me to "disappear" days before the conference. Being forced to do these things to me could not have been easy on her.

All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind and the anxiety and fear grew. What else did my sick captors have planned for me at the conference and how much more psychological terrorism could I take? I was in a fit of rage with anger toward Anita because of what she had done, and I threw my tennis bag across the room in a mixture of anger and despair.

I returned to the main building after I had calmed down and purchashed some shaving cream and a toothbrush. When I returned to my room I took two Haldol I still had left over from when I had been seeing Dr. Iron. I had taken the Haldol with me because I was afraid that "they" were going to arrange a psychotic episode for me at the conference. The changes which had occurred at work the week prior to the conference had alerted me that something was going to happen, and now the arranged, organized events were beginning to take place.
_______________________

I read today in the papers that some innocent villagers in Afghanistan had "accidentally" been killed by US military forces. From what I've read and heard, part of america's strategy is to terrorize the villagers by random killing. The reason I note this is because most people want to make some sort of political argument out such situations just as many americans feel the government was justified in tortureing me. The Bible says that Satan's last great evil empire will "persecute and spill the blood of many innocent victims". This is what america does, whether it is persecuting innocent people like me or whether america is killing innocent victims in the name of "liberty and freedom". The point is, be careful what you worship.

Strange events.
I returned to the main building and began looking for the conference rooms. My search took me to a large hall directly across from the registration desk. The location of the room made me even more suspicious of the directions I had been given earlier.

I had difficulty concentrating on the lectures, but I managed to sit through the talks. I had lost all interest in chemistry and as I sat there, I kept thinking how useless my attendance at the conference was because "they" were going to destroy my career anyway. At the break I joined everyone else for coffee and pastries, but I found that no one wanted to talk to me. I spotted Hun Wong in the crowd and started to walk towards him to strike up a conversation. He saw me coming and quickly turned and walked away, I pursued him briefly but it became apparent that he did not want to talk to me. I stood there alone in a crowd.

Just before lunch I ran into two RAM chemists from San Fransico whom I knew. I immediately struck up a conversation with them and found out that they were attending Klaus Closeau's lithography course.

"That's right." I responed. "I forgot that Klaus always teaches that course at this conference. I didn't see any signs for it. Where is it being held?"

"It is in the other building where the rooms are." One of the chemists answered.

"That's funny. I didn't see any meeting rooms over there. Where is it?" I asked.

"You get off the elevator on the second floor and make a right. It is right there," was the reply.

I didn't think any more of it and went to the cafeteria to have lunch. At lunch I was beginning to participate in the conversation and was discussing some chemistry with on the the San Fransico chemists when I noticed his manager sitting next to him, give him a sharp rap on his leg. The chemist quickly terminated the conversation and I sat there with no one to talk to. I interpreted the chemist's sudden change in behavior to mean that I was not to be included in the conversation.

That evening after the last presentation, I headed back to my room. On the way up in the elevator, I thought I'd stop and check out the lecture room where I had been told Klaus was lecturing. I got off at the second floor and made a right and ran into a wall! There were no rooms of any kind to the right of the elevator. I looked around the rest of the hall and the halls on the next two floors, but I could not find any lecture rooms. The whole incident seemed typical of the events that were going on at the conference.

Betrayal By The Person Closest to Me. How the Nazis operate.
The next day I attended the lectures and tended to stay away from people. I still couldn't understand why Anita had insisted on coming to the conference, but I called her to make sure she knew how to get there and also to remind her one last time to dress conservatively since this was a business function. The rest of the day I spent waiting for Anita to arrive. Even though I knew she was helping create my anxiety and I was angry at her, I needed someone to cling to and to ask for help. There was no one I was closer to than Anita.

Around five o'clock Anita arrived in the lobby. The first thing I noticed was that she had on her fur coat. I was angry yet so glad to see her.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.

"I got it out of storage. I thought you would like it?"

"Well, I don't need any more surprises." I exclaimed. "This conference has been a nightmare for me."

"Are you angry at me?" she queried. "What did I do?"

"Never mind. Let's just try to have a nice evening. Let's go back to the room."

We went back to the room, and I started to yell at Anita about everything. Then Anita started with what I knew was inevitable.

"Why don't you go back to see Dr. Iron?" "I'll call him and make the appointment. I'll do it tomorrow when I go back home. OK? I'll go with you."

"Yeah, create a paper history of 'mental illness' and then what do think the sick bastards will do?" I asked rhetorically.

I felt a sense of defeat again, but I was in no mood to argue. "Make the appointment and I'll go."

Since it was getting time to go to the banquet, Anita decided to change her clothes. When she came out of the bathroom she declared, "I'm ready to go!" I took one look at her and just about went into a state of shock. She was wearing a clinging, silky blouse with nothing on underneath it. It clearly showed off her ample figure. With the blouse she was wearing a tight, figure fitting skirt that was slit up to the thighs. She looked absolutely stunning, but she also looked like a high priced prostitute.

"Why the hell are you wearing that?" I yelled. I told you a dozen times to wear something conservative."

"Well this is conservative." she calmly replied. "What is the matter with what I have on?"

I couldn't believe what she was saying. Anita had gone to many business dinners with me before and she had always dressed tastefully. She definitely knew better and I could only interpret he actions as designed to make me more angry.

"I can't believe you are doing this to me." I said almost pleading.

"Russell, I don't know what you are talking about." she replied.

Her denial only served to infuriate me more. The terrible conflict which ran through me because of the love I had for my wife and the hate I had for her actions she was being forced to carry out, was enormous. Despite everything, I was determined to go to the banquet and socialize with the other RAM employees and their wives. I was determined to have Anita meet my co-workers.

Nazi Insanity - or how to hide your crimes.
We arrived at the banquet hall late and there were only a few seats left. As a result we were forced to sit at a table where there were only non-RAM employees. After the meal there was a speech, but I was too nervous to sit through it so Anita and I headed back to the room. On the way back to the room, I talked to Anita about going to the show at the club later that evening and possibly meeting some of my co-workers. Anita argued against it by saying she was too tired to go. She was determined not to go and socialize with my co-workers.

When we got back to the room we both fell asleep on the bed. About an hour later, I awoke and woke up Anita. I tried to get Anita up to get dressed for the club show, but she would not budge. I knew she must have been told to avoid sociallizing and this was her way to avoid it. Finally I was just too exhausted to fight with her anymore and I decided to just go back to sleep. Just as started to drift off I was awaken by the sound of running/dripping water. I got up and checked the bathroom and found nothing. The source seemed to be from an adjacent room, but it was hard to tell from where the sound was coming. The sound had not been there the previous night, and I wondered if the noise was not designed to keep me awake. Denying a person sleep is a common torture technique and "they" had used sleep deprivation before when I was at CoSteal and was phsically very sick. Whatever the source, it continued all night and I got very little sleep.

The next morning I could tell by the way Anita looked that she had not slept well either. Since I had to leave early to catch some seminars, we skipped breakfast. After a month of badger me, Anita had joined me at the conference and the only purpose it served was to cause me a lot of anxiety. It was all so well orchestrated to make me have a psychotic episode and now someone could tell me again how sick I was. I couldn't help but thinking the really sick people, my captors and tormentors were not getting any treatment. Anita left and I assured her I would be home late that afternoon.

After Anita left, I attended the rest of the lectures, but I had no interest in them. All I could thing about was the events that had happened and I wondered what other horrors "they" had in store for me.

The lectures ended at noon, but the conference officially ended in the late afternoon. This gave the attendees some time to use the recreational facilities. I was hoping to get some exercise to help relieve the stress, but as I expected Pat had not said a word to me about playing tennis. Since I had my sneakers with me the best way to avoid playing tennis with me was to totally ignore me. Early that afternoon I went looking for the tennis courts. When I located them, there was Pat and several other RAM employees playing. The all saw me, said a perfunctory "hi". but no one invited me to play. Since no one was going to ask me to play, I asked a couple of players who were standing around the courts if they wanted to hit some balls. They all declined. Since I was not going to play tennis, I decided to head home.

I headed home in a state of anxiety and apprehension. Apparently the conference and the time leading up to it had been used to create as much of a psychotic state as possible with the means available to my tormentors while at the same time have it look as though I was just mentally ill. For a moment or two I thought about driving off and just trying to hide like Anita had urged me to do. But I knew that was a worthless idea because my captor/tormentors would just find me and I would be faced with the same problems. Running and then having to face the same problems would just strengthen the position that I was mentally ill.

On the way home, I suddenly decided to stop in at the RAM office building and check my mail. Since it was still early in the afternoon, I had plenty of time to stop and still make it home by supper time. I went to my office and sorted through my mail. There was nothing of interest in the mail so I put it in my desk and headed out of the building. As an after thought, I decided to take a tour of the laboratory and see what was going on. As I entered the lab, there working at the bench in a white lab coat was Osama! In the preceeding year I had never seen Osama in the lab and I had never seen him in a white lab coat. In fact the only time I had seen him in the lab was when he was doing his marching through campaign that ended when I threatened to punch him out. And I hadn't seen him at all for at least two weeks before the conference. Now, when I showed up totally unexpectedly, there was Osama working in the lab. There were no other people in the lab. It seemed my absence from the lab had brought about a sudden change in Osama's behavior just as Buzz at Gamma Supplies had changed his behavior when I showed up at the fitness club unexpectedly. It clearly demonstrated how my environment was being carefully controlled and manipulated to create false beliefs and images. Or as my Nazi tormentors wanted to call it, my "mental illness".

I quickly left the laboratory and went home. I entered the house and went upstairs to the living room where Anita was standing, facing the fireplace. She turned around and I saw tears running down her cheecks.

"I was afraid that you weren't coming home," she said.

I hugged her and said "I know. I thought about running, but it wouldn't do any good. They have too much power and it would just be playing into their hands."

"It is so good to have you home," Anita said between sobs.

"I want to go up to my parents and get away from here this weekend. I had better call them and let them know we are coming."

"I called Dr. Iron. You have an appointment for next Wednesday evening"

"OK, I'll go," That's what the sick bastards want." I answered.

Note: The events leading up to and including the conference show the extent to which the Nazis who run this country will go to cover up their own insanity. And the fact that they would destroy anyone and everyone including my wife shows the extreme evil which these people are. It also solidified the best definition of POWER that I have ever heard. POWER IS THE ABILITY TO BE AS STUPID AND/OR INSANE AS YOU WANT TO BE. I was constantly amazed at the stupidity of these people. From the rigging of the federal trial to the belief that I would run in an effort to escape them or that they could convince me I was crazy. I knew I didn't have the resources to run from them(the Nazi American Government), but they believed they could get me to run and do some self- destructive action. That is, they could be as stupid/insane as they wanted to be because they had so much power that I couldn't do anything about it.

And whenever these ruling elitists do something stupid, it is the innocent, powerless people who pay a tremendous price. Look at how many innocent people have died in Iraq and Afgahnastan. No one ever says it, but it must have taken some really stupid decisions to sink GM. And look who pays the price - the working people. And the powerful ruling elite make big money for being stupid and powerful. And the biggest crime that you or I can do as a member of the slave/working class is call the emperor naked!

How Insane are the leaders of Nazi America?
With the safety and serenity of being home, I began to reflect on the events which had transpired. The fear and anxiety were now turning to anger. I started yelling at Anita.

"I can't believe "they" can still think they can convince me I'm mentally ill. This is just like something out of '1984'. The totalitarian state terrorizes a person until the victim says what the state wants him to say. IT'S STUPID!(see the previous post about power and stupidity). They have to be insane to conceive such a plan. They are really sick and they don't care or have any desire to change their course. Their script says I have to be mentally ill and believe it or they will keep terrorizing me until they kill me."

Then I turned to Anita. "And you, how could you do those things? How can you live with yourself?"

Anita was sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. She cried out, "How can things go so wrong? It's not suppose to be like this!"

"I know," I continued. "I'm suppose to believe I'm mentally ill and that none of this is happening. They are SICK!"

Anita just sat there with a hopeless look on her face and listened to me rant and rave.

"They jerk me around emotionally and terrorize me to make me psychotic and then they have my loving wife convince me to see a doctor so he can tell me how insane I am. How can anyone be so stupid(see my previous post on power and stupidity). How can anyone believe that would work? God they are sick. Do you realize how depressed I'm going to be when I come down from this adrenalin induced high? With all the adrenalin that's flowing now, when it stops I'll be so depressed. And they won't give me any antidepressants because "they" want me good and depressed to make it look real. Remind me when we go up to my parents to ask my mother for the anti-depressants she keeps in the cupboard. I have to have something to fight the depression when I come crashing down." (I can only guess that my mother was depressed because of my problems with the Nazi government.)

Anita said nothing.

NOTES: One of the problems my sick captors had was that I knew almost everything they were going to do before thay did it. I had told Anita some two and a half years earlier when we were leaving Gamma Supplies that "they" would say I was mentally ill. That is how "they" would hide their federal trial rigging scheme. What my ordeal demonstrates is that when you are up against overwhelming power, there is no way to defend yourself. The only "rational" route I ever had was to kill some of the son-of-bitches before they could create a paper trail of "mental illness". It was the only rational route left to me. If you read this and truly understand how Nazi America works, then workers who shot up their work place and suicide bombers in Iraq and other countries, don't seem so irrational. The victims are taking the only route other than surrender that is available to them. And the victims have to do it, otherwise the sick Nazis win. It is the victims only way out.