What makes people have insatiable hatred? Are they insecure? Hate themselves?

Sabotage at work.

For the first time in three years, there were no suggestions or implications that I would be fired from my job at Christmas time. Anita had returned home, but she was so busy catching up on her school work that she barely had time to speak to me. There was still some harassment at work but the level was low and the harassing phone calls had been reduced to 2 or 3 a day. I wasn't too surprised because first this was suppose to be the "low" period following the "high" I experienced at the photo conference and second, Anita was too busy and was still recovering from her operation to be of much use in terrorizing me. For a change, my life was relatively calm and in a couple of weeks, I was scheduled to leave Naziland for awhile.

I continued to take the Haldol medication, and of course Dr. Iron attributed my improved state of mind to the drug. I will relate at a later time when my improved condition was suppose to be a result of new medication that unknown to everyone else, I never took. But my environment did change to give me a change in my mental state.

As I expected, with the relative calm there was an increasing tendency for me to become very depressed. I asked Dr. Iron to give me some antidepressants, but he refused. Remember, I had tried to get my mother's unused antidepressants in anticipation of the onset of depression. Of course the insane Nazis still were convinced they could convince me that I was crazy.

The orchestrated events at work took a new twist. Incidences became more subtle and seemed designed to destroy my last area of real confidence which was my ability to do my job. Throughout all of the terrorism and harassment, I was able to maintain a position of technical leadership and I performed my job well. It now seemed that area of self esteem was being attacked. The week before the Aruba trip I was busy trying to get som last minute results. I needed to us an instrument called nuclear magnetic resonance(NMR) which was located in the sister Polymer Technology group. The use of the instrument required special chemical which Osama kept under lock and key. I went and asked him if I cold use some of the chemicals. He gave me the chemicals which were used only in conjuction with the NMR, and I prepared my samples for use on the NMR the next day.

The next morning I went over to the Polymer Technology laboratory to use the NMR. As I walked in, I could see Osama's friend Hun Wong in the distance frantically working on the instrument as if he were making some major adjustments. I watched for a couple of minutes, and then as he finished, I stepped into an adjacent room where Hun could not see me as he left. After his departure, I went in and tried to use the NMR machine. The instrument was totally out of adjustment and was inoperable. I could see a couple of valves, which were not suppose to be touched, had been turned out of adjustment. Hun apparently had sabbotaged the instrument and had made it inoperable. I went directly to Hun's office.

"Hun, have you used the NMR lately," I asked.

"Yes, I used it last week. Why?" he responded.

"How was it working?"

"Fine, I got good results."

"Well, I just tried to use it and it's all out of alignment. I can't get any results." I snapped back.

Hun continued to express ignorance about the condition of the instrument and even offered to help me fix it. We went back into the laboratory. A few quick tests confirmed that the machine was inoperable and that a major adjustment would be needed to make the NMR operational again.

"That's funny," Hun said. "It worked fine for me last week. I guess we'll have to get a repairman in to fix it. I'll call him today. You weren't in a hurry for the results, were you?"

"Well, I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow," I answered. "So I guess the results will have to wait a couple of weeks.

I didn't tell Hun that I knew he was lying because if I had, he would have only given me some lame excuse and that would have infuriated me. What frightened me was I had just witnessed an attempt to block me from doing me job in a competent manner. It would not take much to stop me from functioning on the job with the depressed state I was in.

That evening I had an appointment with Dr. Iron. After we had chatted for awhile about my impending trip to Aruba, I related the NMR incident to him.

I finished by saying, "And now "they" are sabotoaging my work to destroy my confidence and then they will say I'm not doing a satisfactory job."

Dr. Iron listened and then said, "You're still that sensitive!"

Note: There would future incidences where events prevented me from doing my job which clearly demonstates that the above and future acts were not random but rather were well orchestrated attempts to make me perform poorly on the job.

Temporary Freedom from the Nazis. Something most amerikans could never understand.

Based on Dr. Iron's response, I no longer had to question whether or not he was trying to help me. He was aware of what was happening and he had no response; that is he was NO help. I was just glad to leave his office and to know that the next day I was leaving Naziland and the whole situation behind.

Anita and i departed JFK airport in a heavy snow storm and arrived in Aruba to sunshine and a balmy breeze. Anita and I loveD Aruba and I had my first truly enjoyable week in over two years. The were absolutely no strange incidences or harassing events. I FELT FREE for the first time in over four years. I had escaped my tormentors by leaving the United Nazi States. There was no apprehension or fear when I interacted with people, and if I struck up a conversation with someonE, they reciprocated in a friendly manner. The contrast to the behavior and actions of people compared to what I had become acustomed to in amerika was striking.

I still was very nervous and I attributed that to the Haldol I was still taking. At one point I was standing in our room when there was a loud bang. I reacted by twitching as if I had been give an electric shock. After that, I decided it was time to stop taking that medication.

As our vacation came to an end, I began to dread going back to RAM. Things had been so pleasant in Aruba without the daily incidences that I realized why I had enjoyed life so much before I had become a political prison in amerika. Thought of going back to the Naziland nightmare was almost more than I could stand. But, being poor, what choice did I have.

When I returned to RAM, no one talked to me about my vacation even though I had returned with a very dark tan and had been gone from work for a week. On of the rules I had learned to live with was that I was never allowed to talk about my personal life with other employees. I was especially forbiden to talk about my wife. If I attempted to do so, I was ignored or the person I was talking to would just walk away. The inability to share the joy over my vacation took a lot of enjoyment out of the whole experience. I quickly became depressed being back in my old surroundings.

The destruction of a person using the Nazis mental torture techniques is often referred to as "living death". Although you are physically alive, your life is really dead. I guess that is one reason the amerikan government loves it so much. The can "kill" the person without the problem of a corpse to explain. Then all they have to do is destroy the person's mind and he or she(rarely) will not be able to tell anyone about it to the people who should know - the amerikan working class.

The reason I was not allowed to talk about my personal life or my wife is that when the Nazi's set out to destroy a person, they have to make them a "nonperson". It is easier to torture someone who you do not consider a human being. And, by not allowing a mention of my wife, the sick, psychopaths remove the truth that there are other victims to their demented acts. And those others victims are obviously innocent of any "crimes". Even the lowlife Nazi scumbags couldn't make my wife look like a deserving recipient of pain and suffering at their hands. And any glimpse of the truth would make my captors and torments look despotic and psychotic.

Last night I was watching a detective/crime show and the detective was describing the criminal as a sociopath. The detective went on to say that a sociopath "has no remorse and believes the victim and their family are not entitled to any compensation for the damage done by the sociopath". I have been told that the scum that totally destroyed my life feel they have done no wrong(no remorse) and obviously I don't deserve any compensation for what they did. That is why I struggle to this day to survive and live on a below the poverty level income.

BUT WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT THESE SAME PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE RULING ELITE MENTALITY IN THIS COUNTRY AND THAT IS THE PRIMARY REASON THIS SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING. THESE SOCIOPATHS ARE RUNNING AND RUINING THE COUNTRY. AND I DON'T MEAN THE REPUBLICANS AND THE DEMOCRATS, I MEAN THE RULING ELITE AND THEIR GESTAPO AGENCIES.

Democracy Passes Into Despotism!

I was becoming more and more depressed with time and the actions around me seemed designed to increase the depression. A new job assignment I was given was a basic research type of job which I dislike and which limited my interactions with other scientists. The increased isolation at work was both frustrating and depressing.

Despite the little interaction I had with people, I found that I was able to discern a difference. There seemed to be two groups of people among my co-workers. In my total paranoid state, I assumed everyone knew of my situation and conspired against me, but with passing time, I perceived that some people were unaware of what was being done to me. I decided to test my hunch.

One afternoon I walked into Moe Gilley's office and struck up a conversation. Moe had just transferred into the area and he had been uncharacteristically friendly and intereacted with me. As we talked, I started to relate my story to him about how I had been set up as a witness and then terrorized and how "they" tried to kill me when I refused to sign my deposition. Moe was shocked and sympathetic. He expressed his strong diapproval of such tactics. Not once did he say I was ill or that he didn't believe me.

As we talked, Don Slewowski who was in an adjacent office, barged in and demanded to see Marty immediately. Don took Moe into his office and spoke with him in private for about five minutes. When Moe came back, he was reluctant to talk to me, and as soon as I tried to talk about my experience, he walked away; Moe's reaction to me before and after the interruption by Don was like night and day. However, the episode convinced me that not everyone around me knew of my situation. Apparently "they" wanted as few workers as possible to know about how sick they were and for what amerika really stands!

Extremism In The Defense Of Fascism Is No Vice

In early 1980, my new manager Pat Clover came into my office and gave me a new assignment. He asked me to check out a new Japanese product and then told me to order the material and evaluate it. The assignment was the type that guaranteed some positive results and would stimulate discussion and interaction with other people. I was surprised but pleased that Perry had asked me to do the work. I enthusiastically got busy on the assignment and completed all the necissary paper work to order the material for evaluation. Several days later I received a call from the Site Chemical Coordinator.

"This is Jim Pounds in chemical safety," he said. "I just received your Hazzardous Materials Authorization(HMA) for some chemicals and I was wondering if you have the Material Safety Data Sheet(MSDS) too?"

"Why do you ask that?" I asked.

"Well the state law requires that I have MSDA before I order the chemicals."

"I've never had to have one before!" I replied.

"Well, It's the law and I can't order the chemicals until I have one," he snapped back.

I wasn't going to argue with him so I said, "fine; I'll get them."

I went directly to Pat and told him the situation. He said it was the law and that I should go ahead and do it. I called the company supplying the material I wanted and they said that they did not have a MSDS on the product and could not supply one, but they could supply a MSDS for each component chemical in the product. I said that would be adequate and gave them my mailing address.

I was still upset because I had ordered many chemicals without a MSDS. I checked around and found that none of my co-workers had needed a MSDS to order chemicals. I began to get suspicious. After all I and other workers in the department probably broke about 3-5 laws EVERY DAY to perform our jobs. As most americans are now learning, laws have no meaning in the every day functioning of large corporations. The laws are there for the little people. You just did your job. You never worried about the laws. For the selective enforcement of laws, all you have to do is look at the enforcement of immigration laws in Naziland. The ruling fascists only enforce the laws when it is convenient for them to do so. Selective enforcement of laws is only one of a myriad of reasons most american are upset with the ruling fascists.

About a week later I received the MSDS copies for the component chemicals and sent them to Mr. Bannura A couple of days later I got another call from Jim Pounds.

"This is Jim Pounds. Those MSDS copies you sent me are not adequate. I need the MSDS for the product."

"The company does not have one," I answered angrily. "What is what I sent you?"

"I need a MSDS for the product," he adamantly replied. "It's the state law!"

"I'll take care of it," I replied as I slammed down the phone.

I was angry. I went to Pat and told him of the situation. Perry back Jim Pound's position and refused to go to bat for me. I was angry that I had been frustrated again. I left Pat's office knowing I had failed to complete the assignment and that I could not do anything about it. I called Jim Pound one more time, but I made no progress. Pound was selectively enforcing a law to frustrate me.

Two days later I was walking down the hall when I happened to pass Klaus Closeau's office. There sitting on his desk in plain view were two bottles of the chmicals I had unsuccessfully tried to order. HOW CONVENIENT AND OBVIOUS. Klaus was in his office.

"Where did you get that?" I asked as I pointed to the bottles.

"Oh, they were sent to me," he calmly replied. "I guess I'll have to evaluate it. It is suppose to work pretty good."

"I tried to get that and Pounds stopped me because I couldn't get a MSDS," I said. "How did you manage?"

Klaus just shrugged his shoulders and didn't say anything.

I walked out of his office thinking about the planning and orchestration the whole incident had required. First I was lifted up by a challenging assignme and then I was frustrated by enforcing an unused law and finally I was made to feel like a failure by having someone else be successful at what I could not do. The whole incident was typical of events which went on daily in my life. The thing would have seemed "normal" except for the selective enforcement of the rule to frustrate me. Pat's failure to support me and Klaus' coincidental interest and success in obtaining the same chemicals would have been enough to make me suspicious. About a year later the problem of requiring MSDS did surface on a broader scale, but nothing was done about it and it just faded away. Other than this one exception, I did not encounter the MSDS rule the entire time I was at RAM.

Self Control versus Control of My Environment

Soon after the MSDS incident, there was an expansion in my area. A new department was formed with a new manager, and in keeping with the Nazi's policy of moving me around as much as possible, I was transferred to the new area. I think Pat was glad to get rid of me and the problems that went along with me. My new assignment meant little to me other than I would have a new manager. I was still very depressed, but I still foolishly hoped that I could save my future.

As part of my way to cope with all of the stress I was being subjected to, I began drinking heavily again. almost every evening I would come home and pour myself a couple of glasses of wine. By about seven P.M., I was totally drunk and all of the anger would come out. I would yell, swear and carry on until I was in such a fit of rage that I would smash a glass in the fireplace. On one occasion when Anita tried to argue with me, I became so enraged that I threw a glass through a picture window. That glass throwing incident cost me one hundred and fifty dollars for the repair. As time went on, I was getting drunk on the average about three of the five week day working nights.

The rants I would go on when I got drunk was always about how STUPID and SICK my tormentors had to be to set me up as a witness and then try to drive me insane or kill me by accident or suicide to cover up their stupidity and evilness. I just couldn't believe that the amerikan system was so corrupt as to support such evil. Of course, now days given the political and world events, such thoughts about not believing the evil of the amerikan system seems naive. But remember, this was 1980 and not present day. Most of the unrest that exists today is because most amerikans are losing their naivity about what they believe about amerika. And I laugh because I have spent the last 30 years trying to warn amerikans and they wouldn't listen. Now amerikans will learn the hard way.

Just when my drinking was becoming a real problem, the RAM medical department called me for the first time in almost eight months for a psychiatric follow up. This time I saw Dr. Cryer, who said I was doing fine, but he expressed concern about my excessive drinking. He just happened to inquire about by drinking habits during this particular interview. I told him I had not been a drinker in the past and that I could stop if I wanted to. He seemed to doubt that I could or would, but I assured him that I would stop.

The problem was that whenever I didn't express my anger I became depressed and when I stopped drinking and getting angry, I became very depressed. I was still seeing Dr. Iron every other week, and when I told him I had stopped drinking entirely he was amazed.

"Do you mean you have enough will power to just stop drinking?" he asked increduously.

"Sure, I have a lot of will power and drinking is something I have control over. I can't control my environment or the actions of the people around me. That's why I can't get better." I replied.

Dr. Iron didn't like my comment, but he was still surprised that I could stop consuming alcohol so abruptly after I had been drinking so much.

"Of course, now that I'm not drinking, I'm becoming more depressed. Can I have some antidepressants?"

Dr. Iron didn't hesitate. "No, you don't need them."

I believed Dr. Iron's refusal to give antidepressants was part of the plan to get me truly depressed and possibly suicidal again. There seemed to be no rational reason way someone as depressed as I was should not have been given antidepressants.

In retrospect, Dr. Iron's whole reaction and treatment of me reflects the really malevolent nature of Dr. Iron. He had fled the original German Nazis and now he seemed like he was determined to bring harm to other people to help the amerikan Nazis. I'll never know what his true motivation was but I don't believe it as a positive motivator. I guess he believed it was better to be the persecutor rather than be the person being persecuted.

More frustration

I decided the best way to keep my sanity was to bury myself in my work in mid-1980 I began directing all my efforts towards my research. Within a month the results were noticeable. I could tell by the length and quality of my monthy report that I had accomplished quit a bit. I felt good about my work and there seemed to be little that "they" could do to effect my research.

Then, a couple of days after I had handed in the lenghty report, a safety violation was found in my general working area and the laboratory was closed! The violation was trivial and could have easily been cleaned up. At first it was suppose to be for a few days, but when no progress was made after a week, I became suspicious. Interestingly, the only area of the laboratory to be shut down was the exact area that I worked in. I complained to management and wrote memos, but I was not given any new area to work. For a month I sat at my desk and did very little while the laboratory was closed. As I sat there doing nothing, I became more depressed and couldn't help but think that "they" had decided I was being too productive and that my work had to be stopped. A month later my section of the laboratory was reopened. The only real change that had occurred was in my diminished enthusiasm for my work.

Killing my enthusiasm for my work was a crushing blow and it made me angry. For the first time in a long while, I felt like fighting back. I knew the one thing the Nazis feared more than anything was the truth, and I was the only one who could and would tell the truth. Since I was concerned that as the years went by, and my mental health continued to deteriorate that I would be unable to recall what had happened I decided to keep another diary and document the happenings. I knew the diary could alway be stolen like the last one, but I believed that to steal the diary containing events occurring at RAM would be too strong of an implication of RAM's involvement. I would however, make an effort to protect the diary. I also wanted to my thoughts down in order to have some record of how I perceived events and how my emotions changed and were manipulated by by environment. Since I didn't want my beliefs and thoughts to be used to manipulate me even more than I was already being manipulated, I wanted to try to keep the diary in a secure place. With that in mind, I began to keep my second diary in late June, 1980.

Having the rug pulled out from beneath me.

I commented in the previous post that the amerikan Nazi government hates and fears the truth. They also hate justice. The two go hand in hand. Their hatred of justice can be seen almost every day with Nazi bombardments about how lawsuit settlements must be stopped or curbed. Remember, in the current BP oil "spill" the corporate liability in capped BY LAW to seventy five million dollars. Of course, lawsuits are about the only avenue the average amerikan has left to seek justice in this fascist system. The ruling amerikan nazis want to put and end to that avenue of justice. And, in a civil lawsuit the TRUTH just might emerge which goes back to my opening statement. I repeat: the ruling fascist elite hate truth and justice.

Back to my story:

I continued to be depressed and my anger was now limited to yelling sessions at my wife. One morning as I was getting dressed I began yelling about how my career had been destroyed and how I didn't have any vacation time because I kept taking days off when I was too depressed to go to work. I continued to harp on the vacation time as I left the house.

I had no more arrived at work and was sitting at my desk when my new manager, Laurie Bushell called.

"Good morning, Russ! How would you like to go to San Francisco for a week?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked in a startled voice.

"Do you want to go to the ACS meeting in San Francisco at the end of August?"

"Sure." I answered. "What do I have to do?"

"Just write me a short request in memo form and you can go. It's all approved."

The timing of the call and my conversation with Anita that morning seemed very coincidental(a elipse or a circle!), but even without the coincidence, I was very skeptical that RAM was going to send me to San Francisco. Nevertheless I wrote the request as I had been instructed. That day I checked around and found that Osama and two other members from my area were going. I was also told that one of the people going had seen the "approved list" and that my name was indeed on the list. I still remained skeptical because when "they" wanted me to believe something "they" frequently supported what I was to believe with several confirming sources.

A couple of days later, Laurie called me and said I was also to go to RAM in San Jose the week prior to the ACS meeting. I was to attend a RAM review meeting with John Loser, who was my second level manager. Later, Laurie told I had to be in San Jose on August 28 and 29 because John was going to be there on those dates. I felt more and more that I was being toyed with. I had been promised trips to San Jose at least four different times in the past, but the trip was always cancelled at the last minute and I never got to go.

I decided to check with the receptionist who handled all flight arrangements in the department about John Loser's flight plans. She would know who was going to San Jose and "they" probably had not thought to cover up that end of the plan. Sure enough, John Loser had plans for a flight to San Jose on August 4th and was scheduled to return on August 6th. He had no other flights scheduled to San Jose in August. Despite my confirmed suspicions, I mad all the necessary arrangements and even change my own plans to get away for a few days just to accommodate the business trip. I was going to San Jose and San Francisco at the end of August.

In early August, the ACS meeting was moved to Las Vegas because of a hotel worker's strike in San Francisco. I knew this would give my Nazi tormentors an excuse to prohibit me from attending the meeting. Laurie immediately informed me that I probably could not attend the meeting because of the increase in cost. I sat down and calculated that it would cost a maximum of $43.00 more to go the Las Vegas/San Jose compared to the trip to San Francisco/San Jose. In RAM $43.00 isn't even noticed on an expense account - it's pocket change. I wrote a memo to the effect that the cost difference was minimal and offered to pay any difference in cost. On August twelfth, John Loser informed me the trip to Las Vegas/San Jose "could not be justified". When he told me, tears swelled in my eyes at the disappointment. As usual I had been made a promise and then it was pulled out from under me. Laurie said she would check with John again, but two days later the answer came back that I could not go.

Now everything would have seemed almost "normal" except that OSAMA and OTHER DEPARTMENT MEMBERS DID MAKE THE TRIP. No explaination was given as to why their trip was justified and mine was not.

Note added: In Amerika if you survive Nazi torture, you are still a political prisoner for life which means the Nazis keep you impoverished and still harass you. Now some 30 years later, it would appear the Nazis are still trying to stop me from taking a trip that I have planned. They don't get any sicker than the Amerikan ruling fascists.

Another No-Win or Psychological Double-Bind Situation

"The cost per day of the oil spill to BP so far has been $16 million. That number is dwarfed by the $66 million per day the firm made in profit in the first quarter of this year. Indeed, in 2009 BP's total profits were $14 billion. As CNN's Christine Romans notes, even if the cleanup costs were to rise to $14 billion, it would simply mean that BP went one year without make a profit, let alone losing money."

So why is it that the amerikan government decided that BP and other oil companies should have such a limited liability of only 75 million dollars TOTAL? Who will end up paying for the rest of the clean-up? YOU, the people of the working class. This is what fascism is: government and corporations that work together to the detriment of the working class - class warfare, a forbidden term in Nazi amerika. I am a victim of this facist system where government and corporations worked hand in hand to enrich corporate coffers at the expense of my marriage, family, career, friends and health. Some system, huh? The same amerikan system that you have been taught and are demanded to worship. WAKE UP AMERICANS!

Back to my story:

At home, my life was not any better. Our social life had all but disappeared when Anita came home one day and unexpectedly said we were invited to go to a barbecue at the Van Doren's on the weekend.

"Do you want to go?' she asked.

Anita knew I had frequently accused the Van Doren's of having drugged me on our another visit to their house and she and "they" must have expected a negative answer from me. Of course, this was a perfect psychological double-bind or a no win situation. Do I avoid contact with people who I greatly disliked or do I accept the only opportunity for social interaction? I assumed that was the reason for the invitation.

I thought for a moment and then said, "It'll be fun to socialize for a change. Sure I'll go."

Anita was taken back by my answer. "You will?!" She asked in disbelief.

"Sure." I answered. "I'm looking forward to it."

The invitation was a typical no win situation that Darth Korey mentioned my first few days at Gamma Supplies years before. Not that the destruction of my life was preplanned or that I would remember Darth mentioning that!!!!! Darth couldn't help but brag to and taunt his victims.

If I let my anger and hate dictate my decision and said no, then Anita and Dr. Iron could say I had no social life because of my "mental illness". If I said yes, I would put myself in a very unpleasant situation. No-win!

A couple of days went by and Anita didn't say anything more about the barbecue. I began to thinking she was hoping that I had forgotten about it. Since I wasn't going to let it slip by I brought up the subject.

"Are we still going to the barbecue Saturday?" I asked.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I called Jane today and she said they changed it to next weekend." Anita offered.

"OK. But don't forget it though. I really want to go." I replied.

I could tell Anita felt uncomfortable about my enthusiasm for attending the barbecue. By now, either Anita and/or "they" had expected me to turn down the offer, and now that I had accepted , the game became to find a way to keep me from attending.

Another week went by and again Anita said nothing. Finally on Friday I said, "Are we going to the barbecue tomorrow?" Anita was visibly annoyed by my insistence.

"Oh, they had to change it again. It is going to be in two weeks."

I knew I was never going to that barbecue, but I kept asking about it all summer. After two months of asking, the barbecue was cancelled until next summer. The whole incident had been a "no-win" situation for me.
______________
For those that don't remember, psychologists call no-win situations a psychological double-bind. Psychological double-binds are thought to be a major contributor to schizophrenic behavior. These no-win situations were a key element in the Nazis attempt to drive me permanently insane.

Different Day, SOS

In the sometimes war like situation that was created between Anita and me, we developed our own way of communicating to each other without saying anything. In one instance I was carrying on about being ostracised from society.

"Damn them!" I said. "They have people avoid me and terrorize me and they "they" have the psychiatrist say it's because I'm mentally ill. "They won't let anyone come in my house just like they did at Gamma Supplies. Maybe I should throw a party and invite everyone at work to come to the party. I wonder what "they" would do? How would "they" get out of that one? That's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow I'm going to invite everyone at work to a party here next weekend."

Anita was sitting on the couch and she just looked at me as if to say, "what are you trying to do? Get yourself killed?" She didn't have to say anything because I could see what she was thinking. She was right. No matter what I did, I was going to lose. The Nazi amerikan government/corporate state was going to destroy me or kill me no matter what I did. And without saying a word and with a single look, Anita had stopped my great idea.

At work, the organizational changes and growth in my area continued, and in September 1980 a new second level manager was named to replace John Loser. His new replacement Ed James was a seasoned RAM veteran and had been a manager in my technical area previously. As a result, I did anticipate any dramatic changes in my area.

Ed held the usual area meeting to introduce himself, and then he presented an organizational chart. As part of his new organization, he was creating a new department for which he announced he would be seeking a new manager. When he made the announcement, my heart sank because I knew "they" would try to get me to believe I was being considered for the job just as I was going to be the new "Technical Director" at Gamma Supplies. No matter how rediculous it sounded given my situation, "they" would try to get me to believe I was being considered for the job. As expected, during the next few weeks coworkers would comment that they heard I was being considered for the management job. Just the fact that suggestions(a key element in mental torture) were made caused me to become more depressed. Then in early October, I received a note in my mail that said Ed James wanted to meet with me. When I checked with the secretary she said it was a routine skip-level interview, and that the purpose was to acquaint Ed with his new personnel.

The Nazis always took every advantage to recreate situations that had happened at Gamma Supplies. It was part of the mind control conditioning that they were doing to create "permanent mental illness". Interestingly, last night there was a show on the Nazi government's gestapo agency, the CIA and their experiments in mind control and what they did to their victims in the '60s and '70s. Of course these experiments were illegal and their victims were US citizens living within the US boundaries. The experiments were described as barbaric and inhumane and worse than those carried out by the previous Nazi regime, Hitler's Germany. I was now a victim of those experimental results that were being put to practical real life use to destroy human life.