The Nazi American Government/Corporations Continue Efforts To Drive Me Insane!

Nazi America's love of destruction.

The ruling Fascists knew that the increasing my wife's role in their terrorizism and mental torture mechinations that "they" were ending my marriage. And in fact, later we did get divorced SOULEY BECAUSE OF THE NAZI GOVERNMENT'S TERRORISM. Whenever the corporate state attacks an individual to hide crimes from the american public, the stress created almost always leads to divorce and the destruction of the invidual's marriage. If you watch the DVD "The Insider" starring Russell Crowe as Jeffery Wigand, you will see how quickly Mr. Wigand's marriage ended once the Nazi attacks began. All Jeffery Wigand wanted to do was tell the american people how much data existed about the addictive, harmful effects of cirgarette smoking. Of course the Nazi corporate state didn't want that information out, so destruction of individual became "necessary". You can imagine how much the fascist state wants to keep their trial rigging hidden. And for sure, they don't want americans to know how the TORTURE citizens for fun and profit.

Also by attacking my marriage, the Nazis knew that if I did survive their attacks, I would probably never marry again, at least not an american woman. And by eliminating my marrying someone else, they guaranteed that I would never have children, which meant the Nazi rulers wouldn't have to worry about justice seeking off-spring in the future. Of course, all this points to the fact the Nazis just wanted to get rid of me.

Which brings me to the next point which is the american government seems to only be good at one thing - DESTRUCTION! Destruction of countries, individuals, and all that is decent and good. The Nazi state's approach to anything is DESTRUCTION FIRST. Look at Vietnam. Remember the Nazi american slogan, "We must destroy Vietnam to save it!" Of course, the Vietnam people prevaled, kicked america out and now some 40 years later, is doing quite well. The people and government rebuilt the country without american intervention. And they did it without Nazi america oppression, tyranny and exploitation.

Look at Iraq. The difference in Iraq before the american destruction and after is unbelievable. There is total destruction of the infrastructure and the destruction of millions of Iraqi lives either through death or exile. And of course, 40-50 years from now when the country recovers from all the destruction, Nazi america will proudly proclaim how "america rebuilt Iraq." And by then america will have drained most of Iraq's oil supply.

Oh well, the next post I will get back to the destruction of my life.

Isolation follows the extreme terrorism.

That weekend we visited my parents. When we arrived, as I got the suitcases from the car, I noticed Anita rushing into the house. I wondered why she was in such a hurry. As I entered the house, I saw Anita pulling my mother into the dining room. As she got my mother into the other room, anita almost was yelling in panic, "He doesn't believe it!" Anita looked up and saw me standing there and quickly released her grip on my mother.

I was in such a state anxiety and fear that the weekend at my parents did little to help me relax. I spent Saturday watching TV and walking the dog, but nothing could get my mind off my problems.

On Sunday I watched some football and tried to find someway to relax, but my fears and concerns were overwhelming. More than anything, I was worried about the depression which was to follow as a result of the induced high and increased adrenalin flow. That afternoon I went to the cupboard to get my mother's antidepressants. I was surprised to find them gone.

"What happened to the antidepressants you had in here?" I asked my mother.

"Oh, I was cleaning out the cupboard and threw them out," my mother replied.

"Damn it! I need them. When I come down from this orchestrated high I am going to be so depressed and "they" won't let the doctors give me anything for the depression. I guess "they" will wait until I'm so depressed nothing will help me and then they'll give me medication."

"Well I can't help you. I threw them out," was my mother's reply.

I was even suspicious of the pills being gone. My mother never threw prescription drugs out. The pill and ointments in her cabinets in the bathrooms were very old. If she had just thrown them out, she had extremely poor timing. Now I had no choice but to go to the doctors, and I knew that was an integral part of the plan. How can you document that somebody is mentally ill if he doesn't see a doctor?

Since I was too upset and scared to go into work on Monday, I called in sick. Prior to Gamma Supplies and RAM, I had never called into work for a sick day unless I was really very sick.

The next day I went to work and when I walked into my office, all of my things were gone. I rushed into Pat's office and demanded an explanation. Pat told me to calm down and then said, "When you were out yesterday we moved you into a new office." I'll show you where it is. For the time being, you'll be alone in this office until we find someone to move in with you."

My new office was a definite step down in status. The office I had shared with the Nazi scumbag Osama was on the outside wall with a window, and it had easy access to the laboratory and the secretarial pool office. My new office was and inner office with no window and it was totally inaccessible. You needed a road map to find it and unless you were specifically looking for that particular office, a person wouldn't even know the room was there. I joked about the fact that the other two offices in the area were occupied by a black and an Indian and that I was being put with the rest of the "minorities".

I had been told prior to the conference that Osama wanted a new office partner, but my response had been to let Osama move since I had a higher ranking, it should be my choice. The fact that I was moved instead of Osama reinforced the fact that I had no say in controlling my environment.

One of the many that cause my to hate this Nazi state to this very day is how the Nazis continually show favor to foreign born and people who I believe were non-citizens. Osama and his Asian buddy Hun Wong both eventually got transferred to a desirable west coast RAM facillity. Many natural born US citizens I worked with had tried for years to get transferred there, but these two foreign born Nazi lovers got transferred after a few short years. This preference to non US born workers was prevelant throughout my ordeal. Given my experience it is no wonder there are so many foreign born and illegal immigrants in this Nazi state. Remember immediately after 9/11, the Nazi government assisted Saudi citizens to safely leave the country.

If you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it - A basic Nazi Tenet.

That Wednesday I went to see Dr. Iron with Anita. I was still very anxious and knew what Dr. Iron was going to tell me. Still, I had to do something to relieve all of the stress that I was experienceing. Dr. Iron was very predictable and he spent a half an hour tell me how sick I was. More importantly, he spent the entire hour trying to convince me that I should believe I was sick. At one point I brought up an incident which had occurred and had no rational explanation. I was not going to buy the argument that my problems were internal.

"Boy you are stubborn!" Dr. Iron declared. Then he turned to Anita and said, "he is schizophrenic and paranoid and has a split personality."

Two things ran through my mind. First, I really wondered if Dr. Iron truly believed what he was saying and second, I thought about how much my condition had deteriorated since I had been in the hospital - you remember the confinement where I was heavily sedated and then told to sign my sworn testamony. When I was in the hospital, Dr. Bardopolous had refused to say I was schizophrenic. But, I had suffered another ten months of abuse and torture since then. Dr. Iron spent the rest of the session talking to Anita and continually asked her how she was holding up. I left the session with the same impasse I had always been confronted with. I was suppose to be mentally ill, and no one was going to support any other position regardless of how much evidence I had that I was being persecuted. Logic and rational had no place in my world.

It is important to note that in general, mind control and indoctrination relies almost completely on the victim(s) only hearing on constant theme. In my case, the only statements I could hear was that I was mentally ill - no one could say anything different if I was to believe it. I can tell you that years later when the Nazi government gave up on trying to convince me that I was mentally ill, psychiatrists in both this country and in other countries agreed that I had been brutally mentally tortured in order to drive me insane and to convince me that I was insane. That is why I believe people like Dr. Iron should be publically executed for crimes against humainty just like the original Nazis were executed. I have no compassion for people like him. He is an abomination to the human race and is no better than the psychopaths who were torturing me.

Jealousy - generating another strong emotion.

The next day Anita came home from school and said we had been invited to have dinner with the Van Dorens. Anita had met Jane Van Doren at school and they had become good friends. Since we had been to dinner a month earlier with Jane and her husband Dick, who was a RAM employee, the invitation did not seem all that surprising. For some reason that I could not figure out, I was still allowed to socialize with my wife and her friends. I was so happy to have the opportunity to socialize, I readily accepted the invitation.

That evening as I was getting dressed, I had a drink of scotch to help me calm down. Then as we were just about ready to leave, I poured myself another drink, I took one sip of the drink, sat it down on the kitchen counter and went back to the bedroom to get my coat. As I came walking back into the kitchen I saw Anita putting an empty glass back on the counter.

"Why did you pour my drink out?" I asked.

"I didn't," she answered. "It was empty."

"What do you mean?" I asked angrily. "I just poured that drink."

I knew Anita was lying, but I assumed she just didn't want me getting drunk.

The dinner at the Van Doren's was not very enjoyable. Dick barely spoke to me which was a direct contrast to the last time we got together. Meanwhile Jane and Anita spent a couple of hours sitting at the dinner table talking about school. In particular, they kept talking about how much Anita's fencing instructor liked her. Jane was particularly insistent on talking about how much he kept making a play for Anita. I found the conversation annoying and the longer the conversation dwelt on that subject the more I began to wonder if the whole topic hadn't been arranged to create the strong emotion of jealousy in me. I did not doubt for one minute that the fencing instructor found Anita attractive. This type of scenario is one the Nazi government would repeat over and over in the future. Jealousy is a strong emotion and the object was to keep my emotions running out of control. As we sat at the dinner table, Bill poured a second glass of wine for everybody except me. It was like he was trying to keep me from drinking too much just the way Anita had done prior to leaving our house.

Finally we went to the living room. We sat down and then Dick insisted that I have a beer. I seldom drank beer, but after he kept badgering me about having a beer, I relented. Dick went to the kitchen for a short time and then came back with a beer already poured into a glass. I drank the beer while listening to Jane and Anita continue their conversation. As soon as I finished the beer, Anita stood up and announced it was time for us to leave. I looked at my watch and saw it was only eleven o'clock, but Anita insisted we leave immediately. I got up and left reluctantly. When I got to the car, I asked Anita why she was in such a hurry to leave. She just ignored me.

The drive home was about thirty minutes and about half way home I started to get very sleepy.

"Boy, I'm getting sleepy all of a sudden."

"I'll drive if you want me to," Anita offered enthusiastically.

"No that's all right. I can make it home."

As we continued my head began to nod and I was finding it more and more difficult to stay awake.

"Damn it! I've been drugged! I can't stay awake."

Ursula said nothing at first and then offered to drive again. We were almost home so I continued. I pulled into the garage and rushed upstairs to the bedroom. I ripped my clothes off, fell onto the bed and passed out.

Drug the victim, protect the terrorists.

About 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and was furious at Anita. I didn't want to hurt her so I started hitting her with the pillow. As she woke up I was screaming. "Damn you! How could you let them drug me? That's why you poured my drink down the sink and nobody would give me any more wine to drink at dinner. You knew I was going to be drugged!" The whole conversation tonight was designed to make me angry at you and then they have me drugged to make sure I don't kill you. How could you let them drug me?"

Anita sat up in bed and said nothing. I continued ranting for a few minutes and then I got up. I was still a little woozy, but I made it to the couch in the family room.

"I guess I'd better sleep in here for the rest of the night," I said.

"I don't think I'm going to sleep the rest of the night," Anita replied.

The next day I was still angry at Anita, but I tried to talk to her.

"You knew they were going to drug me, didn't you?" I asked.

"Now Russell, nobody drugged you. You've just been under a lot of stress and you were tired."

"Damn it Anita. I've gone a couple of days without sleep before and I've gotten tired, but I have never passed out like that. I wanted to stay later last night and then fifteen minutes later I couldn't keep my eyes open. And you insisted that we leave the minute I finished that beer. What's wrong? Were you afraid I was going to pass out before we got home?"

"Nobody drugged you," was all Anita would say.

"Yeah I know. And nobody is tormenting me and all of this is in my mind," I said sarcastically. "It's funny how none of these things have ever happened. It's all in my mind. Isn't that nice of them though? I mean after all you've done for them, they at least try to keep you alive. They are such great people. And of course it makes it look as though I'm a deserving receiptient of all this hell. Those criminally insane bastards still are trying to make themselves look good."

I returned to work the next day and of course had trouble concentrating on anything that week. I decided to see the company doctor and ask for a leave of absence. Dr. Arnold Mengelee said I would have to talk to Dr. Iron, and then he would base his decision on Dr. Iron's recomendation. I doubted that I would be given a leave of absence because the Nazis objective was to keep me under constant stress and a leave of absence would prevent total control of my environment. However, I went to my next appoint with Dr. Iron to present my case. Of course, Dr. Iron immediately nixed the idea and said he I should stay on the job and that was the recommendation he would make to Dr. Arnold. So much for the psychiatrist helping me.


The rest of the hour Dr. Iron spent talking to Anita about having children and how she felt about becoming pregnant. As I sat there and listened, I began to wonder if Anita was pregnant. She had tried for so many years to become pregnant but had been unable to conceive. If she was now pregnant, it could not have come at a worst time. With the fits of rage and anger I experienced, a baby would not be safe in the house. I left the session with Dr. Iron with a commitment to go back to work and a new concern that Anita was pregnant.

Another way to drive a person crazy!

Both Anita and I needed a break from the insane life we were leading. The RAM recreational club was offering a trip to Aruba so I decided to sign up for a vacation over the Thanksgiving holiday. The anticipation of the trip and the inprovement in my work environment gave me an improved outlook of things.

I was still angry at Anita several weeks later when I decided to run a test on her. By now, I decided that maybe no one had to break into my house to steal my sworn statement and move items around a year earlier, but rather Anita could have been the instrument through which the change had been made. So when we arrived back from a visit at my parent's place, I decided to run a test on her by moving things around. Anita had gone upstairs into the house while I was busy unpacking the car when I noticed her school books in the car. I took the books and hid them in an adjoining room to the garage. Anita came down into the garage and said, "Don't forget to take my books upstairs."

I didn't hesitate a second and said, "Your books aren't in the car. They must be upstairs."

Anita became annoyed and came over to the car. "Where are my books?" She shouted.

"They must be upstairs." I replied.

Anita went storming off back upstairs. Pretty soon she came back down to the garage.
"My books aren't upstairs. Where are they?!"

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Let me go up and look."

I went into the house, picked up the books from the adjoining room and took them upstairs and put them on her bedroom dresser. Then I called down to her, "What are these books up here?"

Anita came hurrying up the stairs and into the bedroom. "How did they get there?" she asked?

"I don't know. They were there when I came up and looked."

Anita began yelling. "YOU PUT THEM THERE. THEY WEREN'T THERE BEFORE!"

I calmly stated, "Anita, what are you talking about? They were right there when I looked."

Anita was furious. "You know darn well why you did this and it's not funny!"

"Anita, I don't know what you are talking about." I solemnly answered.

Anita went storming out of the room and wouldn't talk to me for a couple of hours. I did discover that my reaction to the same type of incidences that the Nazi torturers orchestrated against me was perfectly normal. Outrange! Frustration! Anger! And that if these type of things were done often enough over a long enough period of time, it would drive a person insane.

I had become particularly sensitive to this type of technique since items on my desk at work and at home would disappear and then a couple of weeks later the missing items would show up exactly where I had looked for them. The first couple of times this occurred, I thought that maybe I had just overlooked the item I was searching for. However, when the occurrence became frequent, I began making the initial search more thorough and I would sometimes repeat the search over a period of days without finding the item in which I was interested. Then suddenly the missing item would miraculously turn up back in the spot where I had been looking for it. The whole process would create a lot of frustration, anger and confusion.

Several years later, Cuban psychiatrists would reassure me that my reaction to these arranged incidences was very normal and in no way insane. Somehow Nazi American psychiatrists couldn's see that!!!!

Anita collapses - Real Problems Add to the Stress.

It was one week before our trip to Aruba, and it seemed like everything was going well. It appeared as if we would make the trip with no problems. I constantly worried about something going wrong, but for a change "they" did not seem to be interferring.

It was a typical week day morning and Anita had gotten up first and was getting ready for school when she walked into the bedroom bathroom and collapsed! I jumped out of bed and went over to her.

"What's wrong?"

She was still conscious. "I just got all dizzy. I didn't feel well when I got up. I feel weak and tired. I feel alright now," she said.

I helped her up and she seemed alright. A couple of nimutes later she collapsed again in the bathroom.

"Help me," she called out. "I can't move!"

I tried to help her up to the bed, but she was too heavy and she experienced pain when I tried to move her.

"I'll call an ambulance for you."

For a moment I thought about asking her who was behind my torture problems. In exchange for the answer, I would call for help. And if she wouldn't answer, I considered just leaving for work and leaving her there. However, my love and compassion for her made me ask without asking her.

The ambulance arrived quickly and took Anita to the emergency room of a local hospital. She looked quete pale and was complaining that she was in considerable pain. Her condition was deteriorating rapidly.

A doctor came over and examined her immediately and then asked me to leave the room while he ran some tests. A few minutes later, the doctor came out and exclaimed "We have to operate immediately. Your wife is bleeding internally." With that statement he held up a syringe full of blood. "I took this from your wife's body cavity." he continued. "If we don't operate now she will die! We have to find the source of the bleeding."

I went back into the room to talk to Anita. Things were happening to fast for her to be really scared.

She began, "The doctor thinks I had a tubal prenancy that ruptured. It's causing internal bleeding. Isn't that something? All of these years of trying to get pregnant and now this."

I didn't get much of a chance to say anything before nurses came in with papers for me to sign. Then they asked me to leave the room so that they could get Anita ready for the operation. As I was leaving Anita called out "There goes our trip to Aruba. I'm sorry I messed things up."

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it." I assured her.

Since Anita would be in surgery for at least two hours and I was too anxious to wait around, I called into work and then headed home. I was still very hyper from my conference harassment ordeal to sit still for two hours. As I drove home I kept thinking "She was pregnant!" I kept thinking about how a month earlier Anita and Dr. Iron had talked as if she were pregnant. Had Anita known and not told me because of our situation? Did Dr. Iron know she was pregnant or was it a true coincident? Was it an oval or a true circle(see the post on how to cause a nervous breakdown.). All of these thoughts ran through my head as I drove along.

NOTE: One of the things I learned from my experience with the Nazis is that once evil enters your life through an evil person or persons as it did in mine, the evil seems to take over your life and everything seems to go wrong. Bad things happens in your life like the above scenario with Anita. The moral is if you believe someone is bad news and evil, get them out of your life as fast as you can before the evil encompasses you. In my case I should have walked out of Gamma Supplies after a week or two when I could sense the immense evil of Darth Korey and the people behind him. Which is why the Nazis had picked a poor person as their victim because they knew I couldn't afford to leave -I was trapped. As some friends of mine like to say, if you can avoid police, lawyers, doctors and the Nazi government in your life, you will have a good life.

What to do to avoid psychopathic Nazi torture.
On Friday evening we drove to my parent's place. I explained to my parents what I was considering, and they immediately discouraged me because there were no good jobs available in the Scranton area. I knew that would be used as an argument for my staying at RAM, and I knew my parents would never understand the price I was paying for trying to hold on to my job at RAM. Perhaps the strongest argument for staying at RAM was that I couldn't be sure anything would be different for me in Scranton. I was meeting strong resistance to my plan to leave RAM.

The following evening my sister, Anita and I went to a fireworks display at a local resort. As we drove, my sister started telling me about an experience she had told me about previously. When she described the experience she used almost exactly the same words she had used before. I immediately became suspicious and started to feel anxious. The "instant replay" technique had been used so often at Gamma Supplies that I could no longer tell if the story my sister was repeating was just a coincidence or whether it was planned. Was it a circle or an oblong? I knew my wife had been used against me, why wouldn't the fascist rulers use my sister? We continued on our way but my anxiety level was rising and didn't enjoy the fireworks display that night.

The next morning I was up early and I went to the kitchen and talked to my mother. She was concerned and wanted to be helpful.

"Did you ever think of going to the police?" she asked.

"It wouldn't do any good." I replied. "These people are above the law."

"Well, you know I had an uncle once who just disappeared." she continued. "To this day no one knows where he is."

"Thanks for the help mom," was all I could reply. In hindsight it is interesting that she was suggesting that I abandon Anita. She seemed to know that I couldn't trust Anita.

"Do you think Anita could stay here if I go back? I really don't know what is going to happen and I worry about her." I continued.

I was concerned about my own rage, and I also remembered that Anita had been with me when the car tampering incident had occurred. My mother said it would be fine if Anita stayed behind in Scranton.

Anita got up late as she usually did. We then went for a walk through the woods with Nuisance, our dog as we frequently did when we wanted to talk. I explained that I had no idea what was going to happen to me and maybe it would be best that she forget about her job and stay at my parents house. Anita just broke down and started crying. Finally after a lengthy discussion, Anita decided to back home with me no matter what happened. That Sunday evening, we headed home and I was headed back to RAM.

Fate hands me proof of conspiracy - but the Nazis wouldn't care.
I returned to work on Monday to the same environment. I was beginning to believe my situation was hopeless and that no one would ever believe what had happened and what was still happening. There was no way I could ever stop the senseless destruction in my life, but the one sense of victory that I could have was the ability to relate what had been done in such a convincing manner that no one would doubt me. But I was beginning to believe that was a lost cause too. Who would ever believe that what was happening to me at RAM was related to a trial rigging at Gamma Supplies and how would I ever remember all the evidence after several years? And it really did seem insane that my coworkers were conspiring and acting out scenarios just to make look and act insane. And of course, my truly insane captors really believed they could drive me insane. The time, effort and cost was so great, it did not seem like I could succeed. If I had these doubts, who would ever believe me?

Just when I was beginning to loose the battle, fate gave me some much needed proof. One day as I was exiting the laboratory, I stepped into the hallway and heard two people talking in an office diagonally across from where I was standing. I could not see who was talking and they could not see me as I paused to hear;
You know, the guys are getting a little tired of this thing with Russ, and all the things we have to do to him. I was too anxious to see who was talking to listen more. I walked in front of the office doorway in time to see a co-worker and my former manager Gene Leski. The co-worker stopped talking immediately, and they both just stared at me. I hesitated and then went on my way. I was elated. My co-workers were getting tired of having to constantly harassing me and at least on of them was complaining to management. For a brief moment, I had hope. Indirectly, I had someone else trying to stop the torture of me. Not only that but I had proof that there was a conspiracy agains me. It was not my imagination.

Several minutes later I returned to the office. Since Gene was gone, I approached the co-worker and asked him an innocuous question. He turned bright red and answered in a very nervous manner. He knew I had overheard his remark. I left his office feeling relieved because no one could now doubt my claim that I was being harassed. On the other hand, it meant that "they" would only be happy if they did drive me insane. The only course they and their twisted minds could pursue was to totally destroy me.

Another therapist (The Rapist) living in La, La Land
My mental state was deterioring rapidly again as a result of the constant mental torture I was being subjected to at work. I desperately needed someone I could talk to without getting the answer that I was just imagining everything and that I was mentally ill. I decided to go talk to the minister of the church that Anita and I attended. I foolishly told Anita of my plan.

By now a strange thing had happened in my relationship with Anita. I trusted her again which was probably out of necessity. I began to rationalize all the things that had happened that had involved her. More importantly, she became my confidant again, and I told her things that I shouldn't have because my Nazi torturers could use the information against me. But I was so anxious that I freely talked to her. Still, I wanted someone else I could use as a sounding board.

My conversation with my minister was normal and there were no surprises. He said he could not help me and suggested I seek professional councilling. Through him, I obtained the name and address of a psychiatrist to visit. I went home and then told Anita all that had transpired which meant that "they" would know exactly what I was doing and who I was going to go see.

I started seeing Dr. Iron in July, 1979. Dr. Iron was an elderly gentleman who lived alone in a large old house in the country outside of Georgeville, NY. He had practiced psychiatry in New York City for several years and was now in the process of transferring his practice to his suburban home. In contrast to the doctors I had previously talked to, I found Dr. Steel to be very well rounded in his experiences, and I found him to be mentally alert. It became readily apparent that he was used to winning arguments with his patients. Although I had great respect for him as a person, I found him to be of little help in discussing my problems. The best indication that he would be no help to me came when after I gave him a brief synopsis of my situation he proclaimed,Now Russ, big business doesn't do things like that!" I knew at that point that Dr. Iron could never really help me or that he wouldn't really try to help me. He did prescribe Haldol, an antipsychotic agent to help me cope with my anxiety. Other than that, he was useless.

What is really interesting about Dr. Iron is that he is Jewish and had fled the original Nazi empire and changed his name. I am a little surprised that he didn't tell me to flee this Nazi empire as subsequent psychiatrists would do.

How Evil works through the Nazi Empire.
After I started seeing Dr. Iron, the harassing events at work began to lessen and my thoughts to leave RAM abated. However, my thoughts never deviated from preparing for the inev inevitable loss of my job or perhaps my life. My foremost thought was to protect Anita. I believed it was important that she be prepared to go out on her own, and therefore she needed a better occupation than that of a bank teller/accountant. Since Anita had always been interested in being a nurse, we made plans for her to start attending full time a local community college. Since the program was a two year study,she could be working in a good profession in a reasonable amount of time. I too decided to take a course in accounting in an attempt to prepare for another career when my career as a chemist was terminated. All our efforts were designed to counteract all of the destructive actions which were being carried out against me.

In late August, I received a phone call from a worker in the trafficking department at RAM. He informed me that I had to fill out some forms to collect my moving expenses incurred a year earlier. When I previously tried to get my money, I encountered so many roadblocks that I had just given up all hope of ever getting the money. I knew it was just another way "they" could frustrate me. Now a year later, the trafficking department couldn't carry the account any longer on the books and they had to pay me. In other words, "they" had held the money as long as the system would allow and now I would be paid. The maximum hardship and frustration had been attained. I told the man to send me the forms and a couple of days later they arrived in the mail.

I told Anita that we would be getting several hundred dollars back for the damage done to our furniture. Both of us were happy and I remarked, "This is the first positive thing that has happened to us in over a year. I can't believe it. We will have some extra money for a change."

My positive feelings did not last long. Two days later I kissed my wife goodbye in the garage as she left for work. I went back into the house and started up the stairs when I heard a crash. I rushed back down the stairs and into the garage in time to see Anita standing there looking at the door. I immediately saw the car door was crumbled and as calmly as I could, asked, "What happened?!"

I forgot to close the car door as I was backing out of the garage and I hit the garage support." she said.

I looked at the door and saw the damage was extensive.

"Well, if we're lucky, all that will have to be done is the door will have to be replaced."

I drove Anita to work. As we drove, I talked about what had to be done.

"I'll take a vacation day from work today and take the car in to get an estimate, and then I will inform the insurance company." I said. I was assuming the car was still driveable.

Anita sat there and cried. Since we had a large deductible insurance on the car, the money we were going to receive from RAM was gone. There would be no extra money.

It is interesting to note that once the evil Nazis took over my life, a very negative force, an evil force entered my life. I had always been a fortunate, even a lucky person where things in my life always went smoothly and positively up until the Nazis entered. At that point, it seemed like some evil force, a dark cloud took over my life. It was that evil negativity that I could sense or feel at Gamma Supplies. And my life has never been the same since. The Bible says that this empire receives its "throne, power and authority from the Great Dragon, Satan", and I have found nothing to refute that.

Creation of Inner Conflict - Another Nazi technique.
To add to our finacial crunch, Anita quit her job in September to go to college. That meant we would be living on one income and would have her tuition and other college expenses over the next two years. Anita was enthusiastic about going to college to become a nurse, and it helped relieve some of her anxiety over what she would do if something did happen to me. For the short term we were giving up her income and taking on an added expense in order to insure her and hopefully our future.

In early September, I was informed that I could attend a photopolymer conference to be held in nearby Shirleyville, NY. The conference was sponsored by the Society of Professional Engineers, but in reality it was a RAM sponsored conference and was headed by Klaus Closeau and my new manager, Pat Clover. I was a little surprised that I could go and I immediately became suspicious. Not only was I told I could attend the conference, but Pat encouraged me to bring my tennis things along and invited me to play some tennis. I was really surprised at the social invitation.

That evening I informed Anita that I would be going to the conference and immediately she started pestering me to take her along. I had never taken Anita on a business trip and her sudden insistence that she accompany me caught me off guard. My initial answer was "no"!

I was becoming more and more suspicious about Anita's actions. It seemed that more and more the things I said to her were being used to irritate me at work. It was what I called "cross-over" events. At other times, Anita would console me and would acknowledge by her words and actions that I was being terrorized. It was almost as if she had a split personality. One evening we were having dinner at a local Steak House and I was talking about the one topic I always talked about.

"I just can't believe how insane "they" are to terrorize someone for such a long period of time, and they won't let me get any real help. I mean they used Dr. Cohen to help terrorize me and set me up for that suicide attempt. Can you believe they actually used him to help them?" I asked.

"Yes, I can believe it." Anita solemnly replied.

By now Anita's candid comments on the subject no longer surprised me. We were both in this together, and although I was bearing the blunt of the attack, Anita was fighting for her survival too. However, the minute I would start to trust Anita just a little too much, something would happen to destroy it and make me angery at her. In fact, it seemed as though "they" were now trying to make my wife the object of my hate and anger. What greater conflict could a man have than to hate the person he dearly loved? That hatred was being fostered by involving my wife in more and more incidences. I wasn't knowldgeable about menticide at the time, but subsequent reading on the subject revealed that the generation of inner conflict is another key element in mental torture. The greater the conflict, the more pain and torment the victim experiences. Aren't the american Nazis real sweethearts???!!!

When I relive these events as I post them, it makes me aware all over again what really sick bastards run this country. God's wrath on this nation can never be too great!!!

As always, one sided trust.
As the harassment increased at work again, I lost my confidence in the ability of Dr. Iron to help me. As a result I decided to spot seeing him without telling anyone of the change. To keep Anita from finding out, I would leave the house as if I were going to keep an appointment, and then I would go to my office for about an hour or so and do my accounting for my accounting course I was taking. Then I would return home. I had noted the times I left and arrived home on one of my last visits to Dr. Iron. I was careful to keep the same schedule so Anita would not become suspicious. I did this for several weeks until one day Anita said she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she began, "You're not seeing Dr. Iron, are you?"

"Of course I am! Where do you think I go every Tuesday evening?" I replied.

"Russell, I know you are not seeing Dr. Iron."

Anita said it with such confidence that I began to believe that she really knew.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"I just know." Then she paused, thought for a second and continued. "I can tell by the time you leave and come back that you aren't seeing him."

I knew that couldn't be the case because of the great care I had taken to keep the times exact. Now I was becoming angry. Anita was so sure and so insistent that I was not seeing Dr. Iron that I was convinced she had been told the information to provoke and incident. I decided to admit the truth to stop the altercation.

"OK, I haven't been seeing Dr. Iron, but I would still like to know how you knew."

Anita didn't answer me, but rather she continued on almost as if she had rehearsed it.

"Russell, I'm really upset. I thought our marriage was based on trust and honesty. We are not suppose to lie to one another."

I was furious. My own wife had betrayed, terrorized and help set me up to be killed and now "they" were having her chastise me for lying to her. I knew the only was she could have known that I was not seeing Dr. Iron was by someone telling her, but I could never prove it. The incident had served its purpose. It had provoked the reaction of anger and rage, and it kept my emotions flowing at a high level.

The incident also showed how important it was for the power Nazi elite to document a history of mental illness in order to have a written record that they could always roll out if I ever did get someone to listen to me. The mental illness record was critical to their ultimate plan of getting rid of me. After all, mental illness can rationalize just about anything away.

How the Fascist empire hides the truth.
I was shocked that Anita would suggest that I run away, because she knew it would do no good. I had no underground connections, no real money and "they" watched everything I did. Later I will relate indisputable evidence to the extreme extent "they" monitored everything I did. But I wondered if "they" had told her to encourage me to run away, or if in the confusion of the situation Anita truly believed that running away and hiding would solve my problem. I tended to believe the former because I was aware how "they" would have people urge me to take self-destructive actions, and then the people who had suggested the action would tell me how foolish and sick I was. Destructive actions were usually encouraged throught the mind control technique of suggestion. And because of the terrible abuse I was enduring, I was readily susceptible to suggestion. The fact that I could not trust any suggestion or advice made it difficult to carry on.

It is important to note that my captors had a year at Gamma Supplies to learn everything about me before I realized I was their prisoner/slave. That fact and the immense power and resources my captors had made fleeing a stupid idea. And had I fled to some other neutral nation such as Canada or Mexico, "they" would have followed me. Many years later I had knowledgeable people tell me that "they" would follow me if I fled.

The day I was to leave for the Elville Photopolymer Conference, Anita was still begging me to take her along. Finally I relented and said she could drive up and attend the main banquet which was held on the next to last evening. Then Anita made a strange offer.

"Let me pack your suitcase," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked increduously. "I always pack my own suitcase. I've done it a hundred times before, and I intend to do it this time. Why do you want to pack my suitcase?"

I was just trying to be nice." she replied.

Later as I was finishing my suitcase, Anita came into the bedroom.

"Are you going to take your tennis stuff?" She asked.

"No I'm not. You know Pat nor anyone else is going to play tennis with me so why should I take it?"

Anita kept after me. "Oh why don't you take it? I'll pack your tennis bag for you."

I was irritated at her insistence, but I finally agreed to let her pack my tennis bag. "Go ahead and pack it while I get some papers that I need from the living room." I told her.

While I was in the other room going through scientific papers, Anita called out, "Did you pack your toothbrush and shaving cream?"

I was really annoyed at Anita's badgering on the subject of packing and shouted back, "I packed everything I need!"

I knew I had all my toiletries packed and was becoming very suspicious of Anita's behavior. I went back into the bedroom, picked up my suitcase and tennis bag and headed out the door. As I did, I noticed my new tennis sneakers on the closet floor.

"I may as well take these new tennis shoes and break them in."

With that I threw them in the tennis bag and started to leave for Elville. Then I turned to Anita.

"Do you want to take a walk out back with Nuisance before I go?"

"OK" Anita replied.

As we walked around the woods in back of the house, I expressed my concern about what was going to happen at the conference.

"It seems like they are trying to build the anxiety up to a climax. Maybe they are trying to get me to try to commit suicide again."

Anita walked with me hand-in-hand and listened intently. Then I started to get the urge to fight back.

"Maybe I should go to the FBI. After all, even you said you believed they used Dr. Cohen to set me up the first time."

Anita reacted violently to that comment. She pulled away from me and she tried to jerk he hand from mine. Then, in a state of panic she started screaming, "I never said that! I never said that!"

I couldn't believe the fear she had. The idea of publicly supporting me was terrifying to her. For the first time I realized how scared Anita was.

"Christ," I said. "You're so scared that if they gave you a gun and told you to shoot me, you would do it! I can't believe how sick this whole thing is."

I was totally disgusted and at the same time, Anita's violent reaction to what I had said made me even more apprehensive about what was going to happen at the conference. For a minute I thought about not going, but then I would have to explain everything at work and I had no "rational" explanation for not attending the conference. I decided to go to the conference and see what was planned.

NOTE: At this point I was seriously beginning to believe that the US Nazi government in conjunction with big business was the source of all my problems. But at that point in my life I really was not politically aware, and I did not understand the true nature of a FASCIST STATE, which america is. That is a state where government and industry work hand-in-hand against the working class. Remember, this was 1980 and most americans were unaware of this fascist system. Today, although most americans refuse to call it FASCISM, people are disgusted by the government/industry cabals.

The Conservative Nazi View of Marriage.
As the photopoymer conference grew near, the level of harassment at work was being escalated rapidly. In addition to the harassment, a sudden change in Osama's behavior took place. The week before the conference, Osama disappeared from sight. He was never in the office in the morning or late afternoon as he usually was, and I could not finnd him in the usual places such as the library or the laboratory. There were indications from items on his desk that he was at work, but for one solid week, I did not see Osama. This sudden change in behavior served to make me think of all sorts of possible reasons for the sudden change, but one thing did seem certain; his sudden disappearance was orchestrated to coincide with the increased level of harassment from other sources at work. When I asked co-workers about Osama's presence, they all expressed ignorance. It was one of those sudden changes that caused me great anxiety (see earlier posts about the effects of changes in a prisoners environment).

Another thing that bothered me was my manager Pat's almost daily insistence that I bring my tennis stuff to the conference. The contradiction between the increased level of harassment at work and Pat's social invitation was causing me great concern. I knew that "they" would not let me play tennis in that social environment, but I couldn't understand the reason for the constant insistence that I bring my tennis gear.

I tried to continue to carry out the routine things in my life, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do with the constant harassment with which I had to live. One day Anita and I were going grocery shopping and I was talking non-stop about the events at work. Finally we pulled into the parking lot and I turned off the car.

Anita sat there for a moment silent and then said, "Do you remember what your mother talked to you about? You know, if you just decided to disappear I would understand. You don't have to leave a note or anything."

Anita started to cry, "If you didn't show up at home someday, I would know what you did." she continued. The tears were flowing down her face as she finished.

"I know", was all I could reply.

The terrorism unfolds at the conference.
When I arrived at the resort where the conference was being held, I went to the registration desk to sign-up for the conference and to get my identification badge. I was in an anxious state and expected to be told I was not registered, but the process went smoothly. Then I asked the man at the registration desk to direct me to the meeting rooms were the seminars would be held. He gave me directions and I wandered off to find the meeting rooms. I carefully followed his directions and ended up in a dead-end hallway with no conference rooms. My anxiety level immediately jumped. Had he deliberately given me wrong directions?

I abandoned my search for the meeting rooms and headed directly to my room. When I got there, I began to unpack when I was hit with a second shock. I was missing my toothbrush and shaving cream! Those were the exact two items Anita had asked me about just before I left the house. It was way too much of a coincident, and it immediately had a terrorizing effect on me. Now I knew why Anita had insisted on packing my bags.

Immediately I knew why she had packed my tennis bag! I frantically opened my tennis bag and began searching for a pair of tennis sneakers other than the new ones I had thrown in the bag at the last minute. There was no other pair of sneakers. If I had not thrown the new pair of sneakers in the bag at the last minute, I would have been unequiped to play tennis. Pat would probably have asked me to play tennis and I would have been unable to accomodate him because of lack of sneakers. So simple. Arrange a social tennis match and then make it nearly impossible for me to fulfill my part. And of course, by using my wife to complete the scenario only served to make me look paranoid. No wonder Anita had incouraged me to "disappear" days before the conference. Being forced to do these things to me could not have been easy on her.

All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind and the anxiety and fear grew. What else did my sick captors have planned for me at the conference and how much more psychological terrorism could I take? I was in a fit of rage with anger toward Anita because of what she had done, and I threw my tennis bag across the room in a mixture of anger and despair.

I returned to the main building after I had calmed down and purchashed some shaving cream and a toothbrush. When I returned to my room I took two Haldol I still had left over from when I had been seeing Dr. Iron. I had taken the Haldol with me because I was afraid that "they" were going to arrange a psychotic episode for me at the conference. The changes which had occurred at work the week prior to the conference had alerted me that something was going to happen, and now the arranged, organized events were beginning to take place.
_______________________

I read today in the papers that some innocent villagers in Afghanistan had "accidentally" been killed by US military forces. From what I've read and heard, part of america's strategy is to terrorize the villagers by random killing. The reason I note this is because most people want to make some sort of political argument out such situations just as many americans feel the government was justified in tortureing me. The Bible says that Satan's last great evil empire will "persecute and spill the blood of many innocent victims". This is what america does, whether it is persecuting innocent people like me or whether america is killing innocent victims in the name of "liberty and freedom". The point is, be careful what you worship.

Strange events.
I returned to the main building and began looking for the conference rooms. My search took me to a large hall directly across from the registration desk. The location of the room made me even more suspicious of the directions I had been given earlier.

I had difficulty concentrating on the lectures, but I managed to sit through the talks. I had lost all interest in chemistry and as I sat there, I kept thinking how useless my attendance at the conference was because "they" were going to destroy my career anyway. At the break I joined everyone else for coffee and pastries, but I found that no one wanted to talk to me. I spotted Hun Wong in the crowd and started to walk towards him to strike up a conversation. He saw me coming and quickly turned and walked away, I pursued him briefly but it became apparent that he did not want to talk to me. I stood there alone in a crowd.

Just before lunch I ran into two RAM chemists from San Fransico whom I knew. I immediately struck up a conversation with them and found out that they were attending Klaus Closeau's lithography course.

"That's right." I responed. "I forgot that Klaus always teaches that course at this conference. I didn't see any signs for it. Where is it being held?"

"It is in the other building where the rooms are." One of the chemists answered.

"That's funny. I didn't see any meeting rooms over there. Where is it?" I asked.

"You get off the elevator on the second floor and make a right. It is right there," was the reply.

I didn't think any more of it and went to the cafeteria to have lunch. At lunch I was beginning to participate in the conversation and was discussing some chemistry with on the the San Fransico chemists when I noticed his manager sitting next to him, give him a sharp rap on his leg. The chemist quickly terminated the conversation and I sat there with no one to talk to. I interpreted the chemist's sudden change in behavior to mean that I was not to be included in the conversation.

That evening after the last presentation, I headed back to my room. On the way up in the elevator, I thought I'd stop and check out the lecture room where I had been told Klaus was lecturing. I got off at the second floor and made a right and ran into a wall! There were no rooms of any kind to the right of the elevator. I looked around the rest of the hall and the halls on the next two floors, but I could not find any lecture rooms. The whole incident seemed typical of the events that were going on at the conference.

Betrayal By The Person Closest to Me. How the Nazis operate.
The next day I attended the lectures and tended to stay away from people. I still couldn't understand why Anita had insisted on coming to the conference, but I called her to make sure she knew how to get there and also to remind her one last time to dress conservatively since this was a business function. The rest of the day I spent waiting for Anita to arrive. Even though I knew she was helping create my anxiety and I was angry at her, I needed someone to cling to and to ask for help. There was no one I was closer to than Anita.

Around five o'clock Anita arrived in the lobby. The first thing I noticed was that she had on her fur coat. I was angry yet so glad to see her.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.

"I got it out of storage. I thought you would like it?"

"Well, I don't need any more surprises." I exclaimed. "This conference has been a nightmare for me."

"Are you angry at me?" she queried. "What did I do?"

"Never mind. Let's just try to have a nice evening. Let's go back to the room."

We went back to the room, and I started to yell at Anita about everything. Then Anita started with what I knew was inevitable.

"Why don't you go back to see Dr. Iron?" "I'll call him and make the appointment. I'll do it tomorrow when I go back home. OK? I'll go with you."

"Yeah, create a paper history of 'mental illness' and then what do think the sick bastards will do?" I asked rhetorically.

I felt a sense of defeat again, but I was in no mood to argue. "Make the appointment and I'll go."

Since it was getting time to go to the banquet, Anita decided to change her clothes. When she came out of the bathroom she declared, "I'm ready to go!" I took one look at her and just about went into a state of shock. She was wearing a clinging, silky blouse with nothing on underneath it. It clearly showed off her ample figure. With the blouse she was wearing a tight, figure fitting skirt that was slit up to the thighs. She looked absolutely stunning, but she also looked like a high priced prostitute.

"Why the hell are you wearing that?" I yelled. I told you a dozen times to wear something conservative."

"Well this is conservative." she calmly replied. "What is the matter with what I have on?"

I couldn't believe what she was saying. Anita had gone to many business dinners with me before and she had always dressed tastefully. She definitely knew better and I could only interpret he actions as designed to make me more angry.

"I can't believe you are doing this to me." I said almost pleading.

"Russell, I don't know what you are talking about." she replied.

Her denial only served to infuriate me more. The terrible conflict which ran through me because of the love I had for my wife and the hate I had for her actions she was being forced to carry out, was enormous. Despite everything, I was determined to go to the banquet and socialize with the other RAM employees and their wives. I was determined to have Anita meet my co-workers.

Nazi Insanity - or how to hide your crimes.
We arrived at the banquet hall late and there were only a few seats left. As a result we were forced to sit at a table where there were only non-RAM employees. After the meal there was a speech, but I was too nervous to sit through it so Anita and I headed back to the room. On the way back to the room, I talked to Anita about going to the show at the club later that evening and possibly meeting some of my co-workers. Anita argued against it by saying she was too tired to go. She was determined not to go and socialize with my co-workers.

When we got back to the room we both fell asleep on the bed. About an hour later, I awoke and woke up Anita. I tried to get Anita up to get dressed for the club show, but she would not budge. I knew she must have been told to avoid sociallizing and this was her way to avoid it. Finally I was just too exhausted to fight with her anymore and I decided to just go back to sleep. Just as started to drift off I was awaken by the sound of running/dripping water. I got up and checked the bathroom and found nothing. The source seemed to be from an adjacent room, but it was hard to tell from where the sound was coming. The sound had not been there the previous night, and I wondered if the noise was not designed to keep me awake. Denying a person sleep is a common torture technique and "they" had used sleep deprivation before when I was at CoSteal and was phsically very sick. Whatever the source, it continued all night and I got very little sleep.

The next morning I could tell by the way Anita looked that she had not slept well either. Since I had to leave early to catch some seminars, we skipped breakfast. After a month of badger me, Anita had joined me at the conference and the only purpose it served was to cause me a lot of anxiety. It was all so well orchestrated to make me have a psychotic episode and now someone could tell me again how sick I was. I couldn't help but thinking the really sick people, my captors and tormentors were not getting any treatment. Anita left and I assured her I would be home late that afternoon.

After Anita left, I attended the rest of the lectures, but I had no interest in them. All I could thing about was the events that had happened and I wondered what other horrors "they" had in store for me.

The lectures ended at noon, but the conference officially ended in the late afternoon. This gave the attendees some time to use the recreational facilities. I was hoping to get some exercise to help relieve the stress, but as I expected Pat had not said a word to me about playing tennis. Since I had my sneakers with me the best way to avoid playing tennis with me was to totally ignore me. Early that afternoon I went looking for the tennis courts. When I located them, there was Pat and several other RAM employees playing. The all saw me, said a perfunctory "hi". but no one invited me to play. Since no one was going to ask me to play, I asked a couple of players who were standing around the courts if they wanted to hit some balls. They all declined. Since I was not going to play tennis, I decided to head home.

I headed home in a state of anxiety and apprehension. Apparently the conference and the time leading up to it had been used to create as much of a psychotic state as possible with the means available to my tormentors while at the same time have it look as though I was just mentally ill. For a moment or two I thought about driving off and just trying to hide like Anita had urged me to do. But I knew that was a worthless idea because my captor/tormentors would just find me and I would be faced with the same problems. Running and then having to face the same problems would just strengthen the position that I was mentally ill.

On the way home, I suddenly decided to stop in at the RAM office building and check my mail. Since it was still early in the afternoon, I had plenty of time to stop and still make it home by supper time. I went to my office and sorted through my mail. There was nothing of interest in the mail so I put it in my desk and headed out of the building. As an after thought, I decided to take a tour of the laboratory and see what was going on. As I entered the lab, there working at the bench in a white lab coat was Osama! In the preceeding year I had never seen Osama in the lab and I had never seen him in a white lab coat. In fact the only time I had seen him in the lab was when he was doing his marching through campaign that ended when I threatened to punch him out. And I hadn't seen him at all for at least two weeks before the conference. Now, when I showed up totally unexpectedly, there was Osama working in the lab. There were no other people in the lab. It seemed my absence from the lab had brought about a sudden change in Osama's behavior just as Buzz at Gamma Supplies had changed his behavior when I showed up at the fitness club unexpectedly. It clearly demonstrated how my environment was being carefully controlled and manipulated to create false beliefs and images. Or as my Nazi tormentors wanted to call it, my "mental illness".

I quickly left the laboratory and went home. I entered the house and went upstairs to the living room where Anita was standing, facing the fireplace. She turned around and I saw tears running down her cheecks.

"I was afraid that you weren't coming home," she said.

I hugged her and said "I know. I thought about running, but it wouldn't do any good. They have too much power and it would just be playing into their hands."

"It is so good to have you home," Anita said between sobs.

"I want to go up to my parents and get away from here this weekend. I had better call them and let them know we are coming."

"I called Dr. Iron. You have an appointment for next Wednesday evening"

"OK, I'll go," That's what the sick bastards want." I answered.

Note: The events leading up to and including the conference show the extent to which the Nazis who run this country will go to cover up their own insanity. And the fact that they would destroy anyone and everyone including my wife shows the extreme evil which these people are. It also solidified the best definition of POWER that I have ever heard. POWER IS THE ABILITY TO BE AS STUPID AND/OR INSANE AS YOU WANT TO BE. I was constantly amazed at the stupidity of these people. From the rigging of the federal trial to the belief that I would run in an effort to escape them or that they could convince me I was crazy. I knew I didn't have the resources to run from them(the Nazi American Government), but they believed they could get me to run and do some self- destructive action. That is, they could be as stupid/insane as they wanted to be because they had so much power that I couldn't do anything about it.

And whenever these ruling elitists do something stupid, it is the innocent, powerless people who pay a tremendous price. Look at how many innocent people have died in Iraq and Afgahnastan. No one ever says it, but it must have taken some really stupid decisions to sink GM. And look who pays the price - the working people. And the powerful ruling elite make big money for being stupid and powerful. And the biggest crime that you or I can do as a member of the slave/working class is call the emperor naked!

How Insane are the leaders of Nazi America?
With the safety and serenity of being home, I began to reflect on the events which had transpired. The fear and anxiety were now turning to anger. I started yelling at Anita.

"I can't believe "they" can still think they can convince me I'm mentally ill. This is just like something out of '1984'. The totalitarian state terrorizes a person until the victim says what the state wants him to say. IT'S STUPID!(see the previous post about power and stupidity). They have to be insane to conceive such a plan. They are really sick and they don't care or have any desire to change their course. Their script says I have to be mentally ill and believe it or they will keep terrorizing me until they kill me."

Then I turned to Anita. "And you, how could you do those things? How can you live with yourself?"

Anita was sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. She cried out, "How can things go so wrong? It's not suppose to be like this!"

"I know," I continued. "I'm suppose to believe I'm mentally ill and that none of this is happening. They are SICK!"

Anita just sat there with a hopeless look on her face and listened to me rant and rave.

"They jerk me around emotionally and terrorize me to make me psychotic and then they have my loving wife convince me to see a doctor so he can tell me how insane I am. How can anyone be so stupid(see my previous post on power and stupidity). How can anyone believe that would work? God they are sick. Do you realize how depressed I'm going to be when I come down from this adrenalin induced high? With all the adrenalin that's flowing now, when it stops I'll be so depressed. And they won't give me any antidepressants because "they" want me good and depressed to make it look real. Remind me when we go up to my parents to ask my mother for the anti-depressants she keeps in the cupboard. I have to have something to fight the depression when I come crashing down." (I can only guess that my mother was depressed because of my problems with the Nazi government.)

Anita said nothing.

NOTES: One of the problems my sick captors had was that I knew almost everything they were going to do before thay did it. I had told Anita some two and a half years earlier when we were leaving Gamma Supplies that "they" would say I was mentally ill. That is how "they" would hide their federal trial rigging scheme. What my ordeal demonstrates is that when you are up against overwhelming power, there is no way to defend yourself. The only "rational" route I ever had was to kill some of the son-of-bitches before they could create a paper trail of "mental illness". It was the only rational route left to me. If you read this and truly understand how Nazi America works, then workers who shot up their work place and suicide bombers in Iraq and other countries, don't seem so irrational. The victims are taking the only route other than surrender that is available to them. And the victims have to do it, otherwise the sick Nazis win. It is the victims only way out.

What Really Matters To The Ruling Fascists/ Or Why Nazi America is Floundering

A week later, I was transferred to another building where I had a little more freedom. That's when my old problems resurfaced. On evening Anita showed up with an official copy of my Gamma Supplies deposition which had been mailed to my home. The deposition was accompanied by a letter which instructed me to edit and sign the deposition, have the signature notarized and then returned within fifteen days of the date of the letter. It did not take long to figure out that I had to sign the deposition at least a week before my scheduled release from Daniels House. Ther was no doube in my mind the sudden appearance of my deposition, which I swore I would never sign, was more than a coincidence. It had been almost two years since I gave the deposition and now it shows up for me to sign while I'm heavily drugged and locked up. Who could possibly have the power to influence the handling of court documents?!!

My first impulse was not to sign it, but I had been tortured so badly that I couldn't stand the thought of being abused anymore. In addition, I was under the influence of powerful drugs(major tranquilizers) which inhibited any desire to fight. I decided to sign the deposition and hoped that "they" would be appeased.
Anita also believed that "they" might be appeased if I signed the deposition and she urged me to do so.

At my next regular meeting with Dr. Cohen, I told him about the sudden unexpected appearance of the deposition. H asked what I had done with it, and I told him I had signed it without even looking at it. Dr. Cohen became visibly annoyed and demanded that I should edit it like the instructions said and then return it. At that point I would have done whatever anyone told me to do. I said I would follow his advice.

I now know understand why some fifty years after WWII, people still hunt down former German Nazi followers and bring them to trial. If the US government ever crumbles and the current ruling fascists are removed from power, I would be first in line to hunt down people like Dr. Cohen. They should be forced to face their crimes against humanity.

I mentioned that Anita and I both believed that by signing the deposition, my captors would be appeased. However, deep down I knew that my captors were driven by an insane obsessive hatred that could not be satisfied. It is the same insane obsessive hatred that caused Hitler to want to exterminate the Jews. And by blaming me for the failure of their stupid plans to rig a trial, my captors could rationalize their insanity because my Nazi captors had a perfect scapegoat - a defenseless slave. Remember that Hitler rationalized that the Jews were the source of all of Germany's problems. And just as Hitler tried to destroy the Jews, I knew my Nazi captors would not be happy until they had destroyed me.

Another unusual thing about my time at Daniels House was that none of the doctors or staff ever even bothered to ask me what had happened to me; they automatically treated me as though I was paranoid. A one point one of the resident psychiatrists, Dr. Luther said, "You know, you are much to trusting to be paranoid." I wanted to ask him why he thought I was like that, but any attempt to have a rational conversation about my situation was futile. I sat there quietly and kept my mouth shut.

One nurse did ask me why I slept so much. I told her that I was so heavily drugged, that I couldn't stay awake. She said she would check on my "medications". The next day I was informed that my "medications" would be reduced. The reduction in the dosages came after I had signed my deposition.

The day of my release hearing was approaching and I decided my best chance for release and a peaceful life was to go in and say how sick I had been, and that now I recognized how badly I needed help and to acknowledge all the fine help I had received at Daniels House. Several years later I saw the movie "Francis" and my role at the release hearing and the doctor's responses were almost identical to the release hearing portrayed in that movie. In the movie, Jessica Lange who portrays Francis Farmer, rehearses a humble, contrite speech where she confesses that she had been sick and thanks the doctors for their help in order to gain her release. Sitting there at the release hearing and admitting I had been mentally ill when there was rational evidence that I had been terrorized was very difficult to do, but I wanted to be released so desperately that I would have said anything. The whole process is nothing more that forcing a prisoner to be obsequious to those in power. Finally, on January 22nd, some thirty four days after I had been "voluntarily" admitted to the institution, I was released.

It is interesting to note, that the release hearing was recorded and the whole charade amounted to little more than the people in power covering their asses against any future lawsuit. After all, the victim, I mean patient did confess to his illness. As I said in an earlier post, most psychiatists should be tried for crimes against humanity and then executed.

On January 29, 1979 I returned to work with great apprehension. My whole approach to the situation was to maintain the position that I had been mentally ill and that my only goal was to get back to work and a normal life. I would not make any mention of someone trying to destroy my life, nor would I make any reference to all the events that had transpired over the previous months at RAM. My managers had informed me that my coworkers had been told I had been out for "personal reasons" and that no further discussion about the situation was necessary. Since I automatically assumed that everyone had a good idea where I had been, it made no difference to me what the official explanation was. I was just happy to be out of Daniels House.

The weeks after my release from Daniels House seemed fairly normal, and I was beginning to think that signing my deposition had solved the problems. When I saw the company doctor, I denied having any suspicions that people were plotting against me, and I maintained a healthy attitude. Everyone seemed pleased. I continued to see Dr. Cohen and NOW even he would talk about things that were occurring in my daily life. Still, despite all of the improvement, there were things happening at work that seemed to be orchestrated and intended to make things which had occurred in the past seem normal. It was what Cruz Little had termed "instant replay".

As I continued to get more confident, the anger grew. While I was able to maintain the front at work that I believed I had been mentally ill, at home I would have fits of rage and anger over what had been done to me. I would yell at Anita, "How could they be so stupid and insane? They are sick. They really believe they can convince me I'm mentally ill. It is so stupid."

"Don't you think they will go to hell for this?" Anita hopefully asked.

"I don't believe in hell. It's just a concept to comfort people who find themselves in a position like I'm in. Besides, if "they" believed in hell, they wouldn't do what they are doing." I snapped back.

Anita was being sympathetic and she was probably feeling a lot of guilt for her role in my torment.

I continued, "I mean they tried to kill me under the guise of an accident or suicide. Then they stick me in a hospital and said I was mentally ill. And they have me sign my deposition of testamony that they had programmed."

"They" are totally above the law; they change documents, they sign my name to things without my knowledge and they try to kill me and everyone just stands around and watches." I turned to Anita. "How could you do what you did?! You know you helped them try to kill me, don't you?"

Anita just looked at me and then walked over to the sofa and sat down with her hands between her knees and her head hung low. "What do you want me to do?" Do you want me to go to the FBI and tell them what happened?"

"That won't do any good." I replied. "I signed the deposition, and there is no proof that any of this has occurred. They'd still destroy us economically. We're better off just letting things be."

Note: REMEMBER, WE WERE MEMBERS OF THE WORKING SLAVE CLASS AND IN FASCIST AMERICA, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS. YOU ARE A SLAVE TO BE USED BY THE RULING FASCISTS AS THEY DESIRE.

I won't get into any discussions on religion other than to say American Christianity has evolved into a "you can have your cake and eat it to" religion. In other words, these neo-Nazis can go out an commit autrocious acts against humanity and then go to church and be forgiven. It just seems to me that there is something is wrong with that kind of religion. Remember, about 50% of "Christians" supported and voted for Hitler.

We were both upset, but I felt a little better knowing that for at least a moment, Anita was willing to stand by my side in the difficult situation we were in.

By mid March the anger over what had happened had become extreme, and I could not longer take talking to Dr. Cohen and having him tell me how sick I was. Now he spent his time talking about hobbies and unimportant topics while I was interested in talking about how I could deal with my anger and resultant depression. But, since according to Dr. Cohen's version of things there was no rational reason for my anger, there was nothing to talk about. Since my sessions with Dr. Cohen were just costing me money and getting me no where, I decided to stop seeing him.

I also decided to stop taking the Stelazine because of all of the "side effects" it was producing without helping with the anger. One side effect was extreme nervousness which made it almost impossible for me to function at work. I could barely sit still for a minute and that made it extremely difficult to write memos and reports. I felt that the Stelazine was causing more harm than good and I discontinued using it. What I really needed and wanted was someone I could talk to who would help me deal with what was happening to me. Of course, I knew my tormentors would never allow that because that would be an admission that I was not mentally ill. So for a while, I decided to go it alone.

Most Americans are unaware that they only ever hear one version of events and stories in the news. In mind control, it is imperative that only one version of events be allowed. No other possibility is allowed to exit. In my case, the only thought that I was allowed to hear was that I was mentally ill. Nothing else was allowed. And my insane, stupid captors believed that by totally controlling my environment and by allowing me to hear only one version of things, they could actually convice me that I was insane!!!! There is no way I can express the frustration this created and the contempt I had and still have to this day for my Nazi captors.

Another interesting thing is that at work, I had mananged to solve a major problem that RAM was having with a material used in manufacturing. When I first arrived, I was given about a three foot high pile of reports on research which had been done to solve this problem. Despite all of this effort, the problem had persisted. I was told at one point that if the problem could not be solved soon, RAM would have to shut down the production line at a cost of $100,000 A DAY. Despite all my other problems I was able to solve the problem and keep the production line running. My work was even praised by a Nobel prize winning scientist who had been brought in as a consultant on the problem. Subsequently, my peers told me that I should have been given a award for the work I had done. Still, to my Nazi captors the only thing they were interested in was destroying me and my life. Nothing else mattered to the ruling fascist driven by their insane, obsessive hatred.

The harassment at work had decreased, but there were still incidences of manipulation and the annoying, harrassing phone calls still continued. I could judge the level of harassment just by the number of annoying phone calls I would get per day. I was actually being conditioned to anticipate increased levels of harassment by the frequency of annoying phone calls. Whenever I started getting an increase in the annoying call at home, I knew I was in for increased harassment at work.

The harassment was being increased in regular cycles and once I became aware of this, I marked items down on a calendar and found that the harassment reached a maximum about every six weeks and then it would decrease. This apparently was to give me the "highs" and "lows" that are so common in manic depression or bipolar mental illness. Once I was aware of this pattern, attempts to cause me "highs" by manipulating my environment only caused me to become more depressed. One of the common techniques used to give me hope and a "high" was to tell me, usually by suggestion, that I was being considered for a management position. Remember, I originally took the job at Gamma Supplies because it was suppose to be a management position. By the spring of 1979, no suggestion about a management position, no matter how direct would not get me up for a period of time. It finally reached the point that the only thing that would give me "high" was the hope that the harassment would stop. Given the fact that at this point in time I had been receiving four or more harassing phone calls every day for over two years, I couldn't see an end to the terrorism.

In April 1979, during an approaching "high" period, my captors made a major mistake. I had calculated on my calendar that I was due for a "high" period, and I was wondering what "they" would do to pick up my spirits. As usual, the level of harassment decreased, and the people I worked with commenced talking with me. That seems like a minor thing, but when your environment is totally controlled to manipulate ones feelings, a person becomes very aware if people communicate with him. But lessening the level of harassment alone was not enough to give me a "high", and my tormentors were obviously aware of this. I was alone working in the laboratory one day when Dick Sawyer came in and we exchanged greetings. Then Dick blurted out, "What's wrong, Russ? You look down. Don't worry; you can forget all that Gamma Supplies stuff now. It's all over."

I was too depressed to react to what he had said, and I just said "Yeah" and went on with my work. I took his comment as an attempt to lift me up. Later, the significance of what he had said finally hit me. I had never told anyone at RAM about the Gamma Supplies stuff, and what what was suppose to be "over" now? The SUGGESTION was that the harassment was over. But Dick's comment was a major mistake. One of the constant arguments that had been used against me to prove I was mentally ill was that there could not possibly be any connection between RAM and Gamma Supplies. Bill was now admitting that he was aware of my Gamma Supplies problems. I had never discussed my Gamma Supplies problems with anyone at RAM and, in fact, I had not even told most of my coworkers where I had worked prior to coming to RAM. If anyone had asked, I would answer that I had worked for a small company in Chicago. I actually felt sorry that Dick had made such a statement because I knew the plan was, and always would be, that I was mentally ill. No other explanation was acceptable.

I will demonstrate in a later BLOG how manipulation of my environment and behavioral conditioning was used to control my reaction to medication. Really! That is, control of my environment could effect my emotional state as if I were reacting to medication I was suppose to be taking. Again, the total control of my environment was used to make me appear to be mentally ill. Unfortunately, my sick, deranged captors actually believed they could convince me that I was mentally ill by controlling my environment and mentally torturing me.

Soon after the "high" period, the harassment increased to generate a low. On one occasion I walked up to Hun Wong, a scientist from a sister research group and asked him a question. Hun just ignored me. I Thought that he hadn't heard me, and I repeated the question. Again Hun ignored me. This time I positioned myself directly in front of Hun so he was looking right at me, and in a loud voice I repeated the question. Again I got the same response. I started yelling trying to get any response from him, but Hun never acknowledged my presence. I walked away feeling totally frustrated and angery. If I had any thoughts that Hun's actions were of his own volition, those those thoughts were quickly removed when an identical incident occurred with another coworker.

I is ironic that I learned several years later in an RAM professional development course that some African tribes us non-communication as a form of punishment. If a tribe member commits a serious crime, no one will talk to the criminal, and eventually he goes insane, leaves the tribe and in many cases, kills himself. I found it ironic that in the so-called civilized corporate world the same technique was being used to make me mentally ill.

As with many of the torture techniques used on me, I would confirm my beliefs and reactions by testing the technique out on someone else. In this case, I used Anita as the victim. We were riding in the car when she started a conversation and asked a question. I ignored her. She did as I had done in that situation, she move over towards me and repeated the question. Again I ignored her. Now she was screaming the question at me in a hope to get a response. Again I ignored her. She became angery, agitated and didn't know what to do. I quickly put an end to her frustration by explaining why I hadn't answered her and that I wanted to if see her reaction was similar or the same as mine had been. She was not pleased, but it did confirm as usual that the techniques being used on me were designed to generate strong negative emotional reactions and make me "act" crazy.

In April, there was a management change and I was given a performance review by my former manager. I approached the review with great apprehension even though I had done an excellent job on the project I had been working on. In fact, a Senior Engineer and several coworkers had told me that I should have been given at least an inform award for the work I had done in solving a very major problem for the manufacturing site. Part of my anger stemmed from the fact that I was making a major contribution to RAM manufacturing, and I was still receiving such horrendous treatment. As at Gamma Supplies, my treatment in no way related to my job performance. Despite my excellent job performance, I was unsure as to what my performance rating would be. In the insane world I was living in anything was possible if it served to create stress.

My actual review was neither the good rating I felt I deserved, nor the poor rating I feared. But rather, the rating was in the middle of the road evaluation. I was just relieved that on a normal legitimate basis, I was safe for another year. The threat and suggestion made at Gamma Supplies that I would never work again were always in the back of my mind.

My displeasure with Osama was again increasing. Suddenly, Osama acted as if he were some sort of elite person. He never worked in the laboratory, in my presence, and he made frequent derogatory remarks to me about the fact that I worked in the laboratory. In mid 1979, Osama started acting and talking as if he were the manager of the department. No longer did my new manager, Pat Clover (a male) give me information, but now all information came to me through Osama. This technique wa similar to the Darth Korey/Jay Wells pattern which had been set up at Gamma Supplies. In additon, Osama started the habit of marching through the laboratory at exactly nine A. M., eleven A. M., one P. M., and three P. M. everyday as if he were a military commander inspecting the troops. His behavior was very irritating, and I assumed his actions were designed and orchestrated to create those
feelings. Unlike a normal situation where coworkers would ordinarily comment on his unusual behavior, no one said a word. This confirmed that his actions were planned.

Despite the fact that I knew his actions were meant to provoke, they still caused extreme anger. Finally one day after his march through the laboratory, I said to a co-worker standing in the laboratory, "If he marches through here one more time like that, I'm going to punch his lights out." At the next scheduled march through the laboratory, Osama came around the corner, saw me standing in his way and quickly reversed his direction. That was the last time he marched through the laboratory. His actions, like so many of the previous irritating incidences ceased. It was the same technique that had been used so frequently at Gamma Supplies. "They" orchestrated and action to evoke a strong emotional response, and then once the response was obtained, the action ceased. Getting my emotions the run out of control was all part of the overall plan to create mental illness. It seemed like the sickos wouldn't be happy until they had made me as sick as they already were.

By mid June I could not take being tormented anymore. One evening I was standing in the bedroom yelling at my wife. I was screaming, "I can't believe they are so insane. They will keep on tormenting me until I really believe I'm crazy or the do drive me totally insane. They don't care and there is no way to stop them. I can't take it anymore! I have to have some peace of mind. I don't care about you, this house or anything other than having some peace. I'm just going to give up everything and return to Scranton.

Anita sat there with a blank look on her face. What could she do?! She was part of the problem, and we both knew it.

"Will you wait until this weekend?" she asked.

I was still screaming. "Of course I will. I have to talk to my parents first."

That night I got a phone call in the middle of the night, and when I answered the phone no one was there - just the usual dial tone. The next morning I was so angry at all of the annoying phone calls that I ripped the phone out of the wall. I now lived in a constant state of rage, and I was afraid I might hurt someone. I had to get away.

NOTE: This past week I read where a disgruntled worker went into the work place and shot up the place and killed three people. His only mistake was he didn't kill ruling fascists. I do not believe in nor advocate violence as a solution to most problems, but one regret I have to his day is that I didn't take a gun and go into Gamma Supplies and kill Darth Korey, Jay Wells and several other members of the management team. Knowing thirty plus years later what the insane fascist rulers had planned for me and now knowing what a joke the american justice system is, the final solution was probably the best one. Darth Korey would never have had another opportunity to spread his evil, the lawsuit would have become a mess and secondary, and the fascists rulers would have been sent a strong message that their insanity would not be tolerated. I truly regret not having done that because in hindsight it probably was the best solution for me. I still believe in nonviolence as the best course of action, but when faced with insane captors like I faced, I know of no other way to resolve the situation.